Sorry to hear your story. About ruining your wife's life, imagine if your sister was in such marriage and her husband had no feelings for her. What would you hope for her? You should answer that yourself. And be strong bro, you made mistakes like a human being. Try to man up and make it correct, punish yourself by taking responsibility and making it right not by losing your health.
My personal opinion is you should have enough courage to apologize to your wife and make her happy, it might work or not. But you should give it a shot at least.