Posted by: Sambidha May 5, 2014
Facebook Demeanour
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Today, I stopped scrolling my Facebook homepage as I stumbled across my younger sister’s friend’s status.

It read “I still love my ex ”.

And for a while I was dumbstruck at what my eyes were sighting and meanwhile I couldn’t help but let out a cackle. I, however, lowered my intensity of volume when my roommate gazed at me with a “Are you insane?” look. I re-entered the Facebook world and pictured in my mind, my little sister, who is just in the verge of stepping in the teen years. Though thankfully, she hasn’t Facebook-ed about her speedy transformation into an adolescent yet it made me wonder if these girls are growing up too fast or are they socialising too much?

Well when I was thirteen, I used to sack my bag to the corner as soon as I returned home from school and glue my eyes to the television screen until dinner. Cartoon network and the most awaited Mumin, every Wednesday evening.

“You’ll diminish your eyesight this way”, my mother used to advise me for the umpteenth time and my result of turning deaf ears towards her burdened me with short-sighted glasses for life.

Now returning back to the Facebook freaks...we all have these annoying people in our friend lists, don’t we? Someone who changes profile picture every 8 hourly as if it were some medication to be taken three times a day. Someone who even posts the picture of food they’re about to have…or the so called “King/Queen of selfies” without concerning how bad the picture turns out. Or this other one, who posts about every activity he/she does throughout the day…as if we’re waiting for their mundane details. Then this friend who checks in at every expensive restaurants and shopping malls while only God knows if they really made it up to there. Oh and this one who likes every update about everyone…even our Candy Crush activity. Lol. Yesterday, I saw someone like the page “I Hate The Sun” and I was like “Really, you hate something that provides us brightness? You must be pretty sick then”.

Those love-blinded couples who scribble each other’s wall with “I love you, baby” or “Can’t wait for our date tonight” notes. Seriously?  If you love each other so much, why should the world know about it? Go get some life. Then this bewildered, despondent old friend who never has a sunshine update…and thinks the Facebook wall is his tissue paper. Also this desperate womanizer whose existence gives you goose bumps…or this misogynist whom you no wonder loathe like hell but still manage to tolerate his jiggery-pokery rambling your homepage.

Do you have your teachers on your friend list too? Then you know how carefully you’ve got to interpret your every move before pressing that enter button. Basically my teacher has once caught me lying about an undone assignment. He was like “You’ve got plenty of time to cross these many levels in Farm Heroes but none for the study” and I was like LOL. He made me write an apology letter. So if you ask me, NEVER-EVER accept your teacher’s friend request.

And half of the friends on your list are those whom you see every day but have never talked to each other outside the virtual world that Mark Zuckerberg created for us…and is earning a lot of money, of course.

Seeing these desperate updates minimizes my oomph to create an update which ultimately ends up my friends scribbling my wall with “K ho? Kata harayis aajkal?” and it makes me laugh.

 I’m not pontificating but it’s more fun laughing at others. So if you are among those who hasn’t changed your profile picture for 7 months now and haven’t written a single status update for 2 years in a row but still log into your Facebook account every day to get updated about the updates then give me a shout out!

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