Posted by: SAP Dude September 24, 2013
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Going back or continue living here is the most difficult decision for the first generation immigrants. This is just not Nepali's problem. This is a problem of immigrants everywhere. I know couple Marwaadis in Nepal who always talked about moving back to India always "after i do this" and they are there till now and they will probably die in Nepal as well.
I just want to point out that many of you probably think that we are missing home because of the instablility, stress, and the difficulty here but i think the issue is deeper than that. None of us initially leave the country with the thought of living in the foreign land forever. We all noticed that the tear filled eyes of our loved ones when we departed the country. We all remember the feeling looking out the plane window as our birthtown became smaller and smaller and finally not seen anymore. So why do we think that we can't go back now. We came from that place, why can;t we fit in anymore? Will it be really difficult to fit in again?
I knew i always wanted to go back then like all immigrant, i had the same thing going on....i wanted to finish school, then i wanted to get some experience, then i wanted to make money, then i realized making money is much easier when you have papers, then i worked for my papers...at the same time Marriage had to be taken care of....then i bought a house, a nice car, and at this time i pretty much have everything that i dreamed to get in this country. A six figure salary, a house, nice car, 8 Years of professional experience, and a citizenship. At this juncture, it feels like there is nothing more to go after and after all of my goals are met, i see no purpose of living here anymore. There is no goal to be met hence no purpose either. I am questioning myself, why am i here? And i dont know the answer, i am not here for the money, as i know i am only making enough to live a american middleclass and may be save 20K per year if i want. But is that it? Do i really have to live here to save 20K per year? Does 20K per year savings offsets where i am from, what i am, who my parents are? who my relatives are? and what my identity is?
I am still looking for answers to my own questions.
I just want to point out that many of you probably think that we are missing home because of the instablility, stress, and the difficulty here but i think the issue is deeper than that. None of us initially leave the country with the thought of living in the foreign land forever. We all noticed that the tear filled eyes of our loved ones when we departed the country. We all remember the feeling looking out the plane window as our birthtown became smaller and smaller and finally not seen anymore. So why do we think that we can't go back now. We came from that place, why can;t we fit in anymore? Will it be really difficult to fit in again?
I knew i always wanted to go back then like all immigrant, i had the same thing going on....i wanted to finish school, then i wanted to get some experience, then i wanted to make money, then i realized making money is much easier when you have papers, then i worked for my papers...at the same time Marriage had to be taken care of....then i bought a house, a nice car, and at this time i pretty much have everything that i dreamed to get in this country. A six figure salary, a house, nice car, 8 Years of professional experience, and a citizenship. At this juncture, it feels like there is nothing more to go after and after all of my goals are met, i see no purpose of living here anymore. There is no goal to be met hence no purpose either. I am questioning myself, why am i here? And i dont know the answer, i am not here for the money, as i know i am only making enough to live a american middleclass and may be save 20K per year if i want. But is that it? Do i really have to live here to save 20K per year? Does 20K per year savings offsets where i am from, what i am, who my parents are? who my relatives are? and what my identity is?
I am still looking for answers to my own questions.
Last edited: 24-Sep-13 03:08 PM