I don't know if it is just me or everyone who came to foreign land in search of better future think this way. I have been in the US for more than nine years, came for my undergrad and now I am doing my PhD (god knows how many more years.. Everytime when I go through family pictures, pictures of my mom, sisters, brothers, aunts uncle....mama maiju.. almost half of them are scattered in different countries and their pictures in Facebook with grim yet fake smiles makes me think a lot. Why we Nepali have to go through this pain of separation in our life?  Are we too greedy or are we too needy? I remember my cousins when we were small, we were so close. But now I even don't have time to talk with my own sister. I am really frustrated with this Sitty life. I think I need to go back to Nepal and fix this problem myself. Of course, I will start by chopping heads of these asholl maobaddi and corrupt congressi . ..but that sounds to harsh for me and I know I could not do it. But at least I have to take care of my own problems myself. I am a human, not a machine. I need family, friends, relatives, my neighbors, smell the dust/streets where I used to play. Oh my parents are also getting old. I have started realizing that time really does fly. I am missing them all. I think I will be more happy if I live in Nepal and do whatever I could. I know we can do something in Nepal with what we have learned here. I want to do something small but meaningful in Nepal. The most important thing I learned in my life  is that there nothing small or big job. I am trying to find few more firends who can join with me in this endeavour. I was really happy that I was able to get into one of the best Universities/programs here. But at the end all it matters is  how gracefully we could let go things not meant for us and realize our state of living. we are not coming for another life.