I want to do what pleases both sides of the family. Seeing as mostly mero family ma 'arranged dating' bata 'arrange marriage' huncha it means both male and fmale are dating on the basis that they have similar family class and values. "Arrange dating' ko purpose is to make sure that the families are happy with the choices then comes the children ko preference, if you like each other or better fall in love then you the pair  tell their parents they want to get married with one another. Nepali tradition ma hernus alikata dekhauni orni parihalcha. Its family ko izzat, yehi samaj ma jiuni cha ta yehi samaj ko rules batai hinna paryo ni hoina? In the end it is your parents and their brothers and sisters (specially if your mother has sisters) that give advice in how much is ADVISIBLE to spend on these occasions. Dherai garyo bhaney barta huncha- kina garni? Tara thorai garyo bhaney bekar you will only make your parents the talk of the town and your wedding a flop. So I think asking close sanima's and thulima's as to what is a good amount for your family is the way to go.

If it was just a selfish matter of you two alone it would not be a problem. But we are Nepali we have to follow what are elders are used to. Of course you can make it more cost efficient than useal but a general standard within the family should be maintianed. Take hints from cousins marriages, see how their weddings are ani try to stay in the 'aah thikai ramarai wedding thyo' type range.
In Nepali culture unfortunetly samaj is important and so is family, keep them happy and you will have little social hurdles along the way.