I don't think saying darshan to the elders EVERYTIME you see is nepali discipline; it might be in some culture, but at least not in my culture. I think you're overexpecting it. If you demand too much and discipline the kids too much, they'd be uncontrollably rebellious after some time. I will never want my kids to respect me in that way by saying darshan hajur and helping me to put my socks or bowing stuff. Even if you succeeed in getting them do that way, do you want them to behave that way when you guys are alone in home or in the presence of others too? You may not feel anything but do you think their peers won't feel awkward/weird assuming you're in america? If they're lacking in manners and have disrespect to elders in other ways, it's good that you're tyring to be a good parent and good luck for that.