Jantarei,

We are all in different stages of our life and realizations. I was not always in the mood that I am currently in. So I am not saying that everyone should feel the way I should feel. But I do feel that there should be some facility and opportunity for people who feel the way I do to be able to express our service in a positive way that benefits Nepal.

Honestly, I know exactly the kind of things I want to do for Nepal. I just need a room, running water, some regular meals. I am willing to pay for all of this. Specifically I am interested in improving the Healthcare system in Nepal. I have been reading about the different conversations about healthcare in Nepal, including your words. I would like to do something in that field. Currently I work in Health Information Technology in the United States.

I would like to do an indepth study of the Health System in Nepal. And then I would like to work with other South Asian countries in formulating a comprehensive plan in addressing the Health Care System in the South Asian region. I don't need position or power or anything. I want to study the problem and communicate with other people working in those countries in being able to come up with a 'South Asian solution' to the South Asian Healthcare problem.

I am not saying that I will come up with the solution. But at least I want to work on the problem.

Also,  am not saying my family situation for any other reason than sheer frustration. Honestly, if I was not in my situation, I would not even believe that it was possible. To feel frustration from wanting to serve your country just because parents who have the resources to help you...won't. To me it is unbelievable. My father was a big shot in the Nepali government at one point. It is  no wonder that with people like him in charge of the government why Nepal's government went down the drain. I don't feel any pride in putting my father down.
Again it is my frustration, anger and my long ugly history with my parents that is speaking.

But I need some sort of support system to be able to do something for Nepal. Otherwise the frustration that I am experiencing in not being able to do something for Nepal from America, I know I will feel it there once I land in Kathmandu airport. Good intentions is not enough. I know this. But I don't know where to turn to for resources.

The thing is that I don't have a support system in Nepal. I have been living in America for the last 20 years since I was a young teenager. So I don't know a large network of people. I can't really turn to relatives outside of my parents because then my parents ugly politics will demonize any of my relatives that will try to help me. That is how they work. They don't know how to create positive relationships themself. And when they see that other people are having a positive relationship with me, they become jealous, envious and insecure and do what they can to destroy my relationship with these people.

In Nepal, generally the people you know, the social network, is your support system. Well my "support system" back home, my immediate family, is very corrupt and dysfunctional. There is a lot of nasty family politics and ugliness. And I know that if I go back depending on this support system that I won't get much work for Nepal done. There are family members there who feel that their job is accomplished when they can sap your energy and embroil you in the family politics.

So this is my situation. I even told my father, "Why don't you just give me the food that you give the family dog and the little bit of place to sleep in the corner of your mansion like you give the dog. That is all I want. And then I can do what I want to do for Nepal."

And my father does not understand these words. He feels my job is to just keep earning money in America so that he can show off to everyone in Nepal about "his son living happily in America." Well I am so unhappy living in America and my father does not care. As long as he can show-off to his friends and family in Kathmandu that I am happy, it doesn't matter to him that I am actually miserable.

My mother's happiness comes from draining the blood from my body. When she can emotionally blackmail me she is happy. She'is in her element when she can torture her children.

I am not telling you all of this so that you feel sorry for me. Attracting pity for my situation will not help Nepal.

My father has earned so much money from Nepal. But he cannot support his one son who wants to serve Nepal. To me this is unbelievable.

Honestly, I know exactly the kind of things I want to do for Nepal. I just need a room, running water, some regular meals. I am willing to pay for all of this. Specifically I am interested in the Healthcare system in Nepal.