Dear Saani,

Thank you for finally writing on this topic. It was long overdue.

I too am sick and tired of the double standard that Nepali men have in the workplace, home and even in sajha.com.

I came to sajha.com to be nurtured, feel encouraged and to grow, like you did.

But, as you have put it, in sajha..."The ‘professional’ realm here ends up being more of a gladiator’s area for egos where the biggest douche-turds survive."

You have only to look at this thread "Do you still believe in God and/or religion" and see the above was going on untill Budmash got involved and set those two jokers straight.
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=94254

That was also long overdue. Being a woman, I naturally didn't want to get involved in the fight. But I had a mind to exchange a few words with those two as well. It was a relief to see that there are still men like Budmash who stand up for injustice and are ready to fight against it. As you can see in this thread in sajha, Nepalese have been tolerating injustice so much and so unwilling to 'fight for their right to....paaarty' that our neighboring countries are all encroaching on our land:
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=94673

And as usual, we Nepalese can't seem to do a damned thing about it. It seems our cowardice and unwilling to fight against injustice, when we see it, is catching up to us and is costing us the nation. Oh well, that is just the story of Nepal, isn't it? What else is new? When will Nepali men have the balls to fight for what is right and just? Lord knows us Nepali girls are getting damn good at it.

Indian men rape Nepali girls in the brothels of the red light districts in Bombay every day. India encroaches on Nepal's borders and rapes Mother Nepal day after day after day. Nepali men cannot protect either their Nepali girls from being raped by Indian men. Nor can these men protct Mother Nepal from being raped by Father India. So I ask you, Saani, of what use are these Nepali men? Is their commitment only to protecting their frail and petty egoes?

Why are we, Nepali women, giving so much respect to these weak and cowardly Nepali men who cannot protect either their daughters or their Mother from being repeatedly raped by neighboring Indians? Is the job of these brave gurkha Nepalis to only watch the pornographic entertainment happening to their family, with popcorn and soda in their hands? Are we, the daughters and mothers of Nepal, only there for the men for their entertainment?
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=84085

Us Nepali girls have a lot of pride in our actions and words. What some people, especially Nepali men, need to realize is that those who have no shame in their words and actions, and say whatever they want, and do whatever they want, whenever they want, also do not have any pride in their actions and words. There are no two ways about this. This is something that women around the world have mastered, but men are very very slow to understand. I pity the men. Especially those Nepali men with a very low class mentallity.

So I too would like to restate a lot of the things that you have brought up.

1) Your fellow Sajha-mates are not your inferior:

Those men who are more respected here in sajha than others should understand that the respect for them comes with a responsibility as well. If you do not live up to your responsibility, your respect goes out of the window as well. We, the women, are not here for your ego boost.

2) The Men in sajha.com are not always right
 
The men in sajha would also do well to understand that they err. Being human, we’ll understand when others mess up because we all mess up on occasion, but not willing to admit that you’re sometimes wrong is not only infuriating and unproductive, like saani said, it is also down right immature.

3)  Give credit where credit is due
 
What drives me up the wall here is when you’re not given credit for your work. When a person carries their duties and responsibilities in an admirable fashion I am of the thinking that appreciation is due for a job well done. Instead people with egos the size they believe their cocks are won’t applaud you for the effort, they’ll criticize for the most minor of things, and not even in a way that it’s constructive criticism which would be much appreciated!

So what that means, sajha-guys, is take some time to utter words of respect and appreciation to the women here in sajha. You all don't have to like me. Heck, none of you have to like me. But, please take the time to show respect to the women in sajha that you do appreciate and respect. You will set a standard for the kind of qualities in women that you want to see. Why don't you men set that standard instead of simply spitting at women who don't meet your standard?

4) Team work works
 
Regardless of whether you’re a Nepali man in sajha.com at the bottom of your sajha's hierarchy or not, I think the simple thing we were taught in elementary school still applies – work together. Sajha.com isn’t the right environment to puff your chest and walk around as if you possess powers inaccessible to the rest of us. Those at the so called-bottom need those at the so-called top and vice versa. One end doesn’t complete their work and it’s disaster for all.
 
I’ve clearly had bad experiences in sajha.com so far. I’ve worked and I’m running out of decent opportunities for positive exchanges here. That is unfortunate for both the positive members of sajha and for me. Maybe it’s not the same for everyone and if you are a woman in sajha and completely disagree with what I’ve said because you find sajha to be professional, courteous, respectful, nurturing, compassionate and loving to you, please tell me on which threads in sajha you found this. I will be visiting these threads very soon after I write these words.