Pinpoint,
I exactly feel u man. I am also in the same boat. I am here in US for last 10 years. As days passes by, I start feeling that the defination of god given by any religion does not make sense. Especially in cristianity and islam, it sound lke as if ppl made these religion to enslave other ppl back in the days. I also do want to believe in the god as it is explained in those books but doesnot make any sense. After looking at the enormousness of this universe and analysizing all the knowledge via biology, chemistry, physic and math, it just sound stupid to believe in religion. You should read the book "universe in a nutshell" and "brief history of time" then u will look this world with different prespective. However, as u said nowadays I am less enthugiast and pessimestic in life. I just dont wanna do anything. I am worried that time is passing by eveyday no matter what ever u do. This life sound too short for me. when I look at other ppl, they are all worrying on useless stuff that worth nothing. Nothing intrest me any more, I sometimes feel I am prisioner in this body. I read alot of stuff regarding this issue. In my leasure time, I always google about "what is life" and "what is god", but no answer. Actually nobody knows, they r just try to convience themself with these thing.
       The thing that worries me most is what if there is seriously no god and life is just useless phenomenon. Then, its all messed up. we r just born here and die after few dacades. like us billions of ppl were here and will be here, doesnot know anything about all this, just living in vein. We r just runnin behind all stupid stuff, dying ( sacrifying such a precious life) in the name of country, god and other stupid stuff, finishing life for nothing. I donno man, this sounds pretty crazy.