Dear Saani,

I have loved reading your pieces and have become a fan of your writing. Wish more Nepali girls wrote with the clarity that you write with.

What I hear in this particular piece is someone who has grown up to be an adult, has found their place in the adult work place, has achieved financial independence, but yet is struggling for emotional independence. I hear the voice of someone trying to find and define their own space.

In the course of growing up our parents define a certain relationship with them. It is through this relationship that we learn much about the world and how we should behave in it. Especially in our Nepali culture this relationship between parent and child seems to be defined in stone. It seems like it is not open to negotiation. It seems like we are bound to it for ever.

But are these really true assumptions?

It takes effort to define your own kind of relationship with your parents instead of just seeing yourself as a victim of their definition. At a certain point of being an adult, we each need to take responsibility to define our own individuality. And from that definition of our individuality we define our own relationships with people, places and ideas. I'm not saying that doing any of this is easy. What I am saying is that it is possible.  

What I am seeing in this particular piece is your lack of willingness to take responsibility to define your own space and your own individuality. I feel that it is only after that you can redefine your relationship with your parents.

Do you feel that have you done the first part?