Dear mindGames or whateva? If your depression lasted over three years then I wonder that you have had atypical case of Major Affective Disorder is Psychiatric terms and in layman's term Acute Depression that can be in clinical terms described as Neurotic Depression brought about by inherent manifestation of your Neurotic and introverted characteristcs. Furthermore, if you have an insight of the said depression and do not want to take responsibility about it then the hallmarks of a more serious Bi-Polar Disorder in the psychosis range cannot be ruled out. Ask yourself the question as to why you blame others? Do you consider yourself to be Alexander the Great, when you are high and feel absolutely morbid and go without shower for 5 to 6 weeks arsing depression, and all these are episodic as you do not take your Lithium tablet or get a prick of Lithium injection. Only you know and I cannot observe about your condition. Most psychotics do not think they are unwell and neurotics are obssessed with getting better and that is the diference. The former make castle in the thin air and tha latter build that castle in the air without the basic foundation in this palnet earth. We GROW are all mental illness suffers and trying to form a network to support each other by being responsible to ourselves. We know the world is not perfect and we can build our lives with a good foundation here and now. That is al and thank you very much dear mind games.