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did she cheat me?

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 This is a very sad story about my life. I was a happy guy living with my gf in dallas for several years. we used to have occasional fight but again, we used to make up. But last time, we fought really bad and I moved to houston. After sometime, we again patched up but she told me that she had a brief fling with another guy during that time and he really soothed her and supported her and ended up sleeping with her. I am confused, did she cheat on me or not? I admire her honesty as she told me the truth. Still, she loves me a lot and I love her too. but should I be back with her? I also feel guilty because some time back, when we had a quarrel, i had also slept with couple of hookers. I dont know what to do....should i accept her and tell her about my one night stands? I know this is US, but being a traditional newar guy, I cannot forget about her brief relationship with another guy. Everytime we make love, just the mere thought of her being banged by another guy during my absence drives me mad. Am I being hypocrite? please serious suggestions only.

dallasguy · Jan 13, 2011 9:30 PM · 41,946 views

36 Replies · Showing 21 - 36
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Finding a new girl is not always a good solution either. What if the new girl also used to sleep with her guy friend for consolation too? You never know their history anyways. So if you know this girl and trust her then in your mind cancel both of your mistakes and hope it works out better than before.

grgDai · Jan 14, 2011 1:56 PM

Dallasguy, First of, I am very sorry for what happened. I am no expert in this field but here is what I think. In my opinion, the relationship has already come to its inevitable end. You are trying to hold on to it because of the good memories. You aren't being able to let go. So you are trying to cover it with the 'honesty" card. If you hold on any longer, it is going to be a disaster for you both. Regarding the comparision between you sleeping with hookers and her sleeping with a friend, I think it's not the same. It would be the same if she paid for sex too. Then you could accept that she has emotions only for you. But, just because a guy talked nice to her, I mean come on, how many guys are going to be nice to a lady, 10000? So ....? Her "fling" had a emotional undertone. If she had strong feelings for you, she would never loosen the emotional grip. Don't buy the honesty card. Her honesty makes her a good person. We respect her for that. But, it's not a justification for what has been done.

tamanglakola · Jan 14, 2011 2:14 PM

"It is true that in gerenral, guys have become more responsible after coming to US and girls has gone exactly otherwise. No Offense but this is true.  Those girls who think why guys have only fun, you can also have fun but beaware of the consiquences. In ANA how may 30+ girls we see looking for a nice guy, if  you want to join the club then I do not have to say!" - very true, Eagle 5.  @ Dallasguy: Oh and I forgot to mention you are an a$$hole.

tamanglakola · Jan 14, 2011 2:29 PM

Last edited: 02-Mar-11 11:05 AM

dekchidriver · Jan 14, 2011 3:26 PM

 Some newar's are brave enough to jeopardize his own life for a sake to save a girl from being rapped, while some other, who claims to be a TYPICAL newar rapped a girl 1000 times and run like a coward.  I think, am lost in the definition of newar; myself being a newar. 

houston_kancho · Jan 14, 2011 6:10 PM

 I'd say just break up with her. You know you can't take it then why do you want to get stuck in the relation that was almost over.  As for our Dekhchidriver: Would you take the girl back if it was in your case? just curious, i would not.

Zeong · Jan 14, 2011 7:15 PM

 Dalas Guy: Having sex with hooker and surrender body n soul to guy are completely different things. enjoy with her but never think about serious relationship with her. or enjoy threesome. it is very hard to forget " other guy banged her in my absence ".  Man get rid from fake love 

dbst · Jan 15, 2011 9:41 AM

 There is no freaking sign of love in this criteria. Its all about situation and lust. And in fact an open relationship only to enjoy the life. Don't be serious on this matter, just have fun and that's what she will do too, either living with you or in absence of yours.

atomic · Jan 15, 2011 10:00 AM

 How about people start realizing that, when you meet some one he/she has past lives and engagements. Nepalese should stop thinking that all the people in the world are purest and they are the only ones that can mingle with others. Forget about what you both partners did and if you guys click have a good life without thinking about the past. 

maxpayne · Jan 15, 2011 11:12 AM

Hey bro, let me tell you my two cents. Do not leave her. But do not think of spending rest of ur life with her aswell. Just go with the flow. Enjoy the moments ur gonna spend together, but at the back of ur mind make sure you know that this has to end you have to get married/spend life with another girl. Whatever happened has happend. I know its difficult to ignore the facts but it is better to be with her than to not be with her at this point.

problems101 · Jan 15, 2011 3:11 PM

problems101 ko kura chai malai ekdum  mann paryo....and to all those haters....a key is a master key if it opens many locks but a lock is a shiity lock if it is opened by many keys...if you know what i mean. Last edited: 15-Jan-11 11:50 PM

lamopuri · Jan 15, 2011 11:48 PM

 all you guys can see is only what she did after u left her......why dont you think what u did to her ...when alll she wanted is your care n love ... u left her and move out houston ..... gal feeling are really sensitive ...when the guy leave her after long loving life ....that time she wont care who is the only thing she wanted some one to take care her ... make feel like she is the one ... even he show bit of care gal go for him coz she dont like lonely feeling ... that how gal l fall for the  bad guy ........for the gal love is trust that come from inside of there heart ... not like guy who think any gall will do ... they can make new kinda love with everygal ...... is your fault ....you the cheater i know u sleep with whoreeeee somewhere ......she is still ok she still love u like before that why she tell u ...everything.. ..... if u leave her because of what she tell u ...then u will never gonna find gal like her .....u wont love other like her too  

metalgal · Jan 16, 2011 1:15 AM

Metalgal, I'm a really good guy...n i understand gal feeling... Wat u say ... ;););););)

problems101 · Jan 16, 2011 12:40 PM

That one time is not the prob but what makes u think that it will work out from now on? Maybe it is one of the make overs u guys have done many times before. There is no point to be in a relationship which brings insecurity and pain periodically. May be u guys keep coming back for easy sex or co-independency. Well what is going to make this make over different this time? It looks like u guys have no prob lokking for excuses to fk other ppl around. Sorry but don't get back unless u are going to repent and are sue that u won't get cheted again

kalopani · Jan 16, 2011 1:33 PM

I do not think she cheated on you . You moved away to a different location followed by the fight. Technically speaking, it was a break up.It might have been a rebound sex with a friend available, when she was emotionally vulnerable.It seems you having sex with a hooker was pre-planned,you had every intention of getting laid even if you had to pay  .I say,You should focus more on resolving the issues that led to fights with each other rather than who is more guilty.

azul · Jan 16, 2011 5:12 PM

Another thread on Sexual Morality. I could jibber jabber about who's morally right or wrong here based on such little facts, but if you are really serious about it, both of you need to find a relationship counselor and attend. Neither of you can control your past. But you can control your future. Here is my thought on your future. Since you probably acquired some STDs from the hookers you been with (condoms aren't all-in-all effective), if you really love her, leave her and tell her that you have STD and wouldn't want to give it to her. She, on the other hand, if really loves you would come to you even if you have STDs stating "Whats STD when I love you so much, I can live with it". 

Sleepless · Jan 16, 2011 9:05 PM

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