Hi friend at one point in life I felt the same way as you. I am a guy and I did the same things as you. I used to go to club and drink and other crazy stuffs. It reached to an extent that everything went wrong in my life. I was a good student, a good son and pride of my family. Because of the things I did, I felt like killing myself. I was very near to commiting suicide but something happened. One day I was at work and a customer came and saw me very sad and depressed. He was like an angel. He talked to me and I told all the things that I have been doing. He told its never late to live a happy life. He took me to a youth ministry at his church. Then I started hanging around with those godly people.......things started changing.......I got my confidence back.......I started feeling happy and I wanted to live again............I started to work hard on my dreams............everything seemed possible.