Chicksrock,

One thing you may have known by now "You are not alone". This very person writing now is also in the same boat. The only difference is that you found out early but this "dai" found out much later in his life when he left everything behind and sacrificed much better life for his family especially for his parents just to found out that he is the extra one amongst other siblings.  

Anyway, I am in a process of building my life once again. It is bit difficult but not impossible.

My advice would be like someone suggested earlier in the post "stop sending money" regularly. If I were in your place I would not send money regularly. Send only when there is a medical emergency. The money you guys earn working very hard is spent by our family members in Bhatbhateni and other shopping malls to buy luxury items. They just know converting dollars into rupees. Sending money does not turn her around. The only time she will need you is when others start turning away when she needs someone.

Secondly, this is what I am doing. Leave everything behind and concentrate on your success on whatever you are doing or pursuing to do . Once you are successful everybody will come after you. Just by sending hard earned money does not make you a good son or a daughter. As I said earlier parents (and other family members) think you are sending excess money to them but do not understand or try to understand how hard it is to earn a dollar.

Be strong and don't look back. Love to those who love you. Ignore those who ignore you.

Good Luck