Bhojpure and others,

Sorry about my previous nickname. I created it out of fun and was never supposed to discuss such a serious subject with it. But life doesn't always happen the way we want it. Anyway, I've apologized for it.

Pixie,

Thank you for your mature and well thought out reply. You're right, I need to change my life situation so that it more reflects the positive qualities that I have. It's just that when you find yourself in a tough groove, it's hard to always bounce back. I've exhausted a tremendous amount of energy in bouncing back. In some ways I feel like I've made things worse. Sometimes its hard to have faith that things will be better when you try and try and things just keep falling apart.