I am not shocked and surprised of your notes bro. I know life somtimes get into such ways where death is far easier than to live. but in fact death is not a solution.

Death can give u peace but what about your family your life and your all those dreams you wanna achieve ! What will happen to your soul when after death your family gets more problems for the reason you died ! think about that smal son who is going to be called son of looser !! he will never forgive you !

Be strong Bro , this is life anything can happen ! gud luck