This is what many of us feel here esp the ones thats been here for over 10 ~12 yrs or more.  I always thought escaping Nepal to US and US to be my Sangrila.  As years passed I am missing everything about Nepal more and more.

By no account I am under-achieved, I have a decent job, moderate house, dog, wife, kid (very young) and drive a nice car but seeing my friends go back to Nepal each year is making me feel more and more wanna do it. 

I miss the days where I had to handshake the same person 5 times a day (each time we met), hanging out in Peepal bot, I miss the early chants of nau-ratri and early bells of IndraJatra.  I miss the lakhay dances, fighting to drink whiskey from bhairavs mouth, miss all the local foods from ktm, patan and bhaktapur, miss dasain, tihar and all the festivities, miss the feeling of completeness.  Even though I have everthing we need here for a comfortable life I dont feel complete I feel like one little piece is missing.....and now I wish I could just pack up and leave or be 100% happy here.

We struggle here everyday why not make that struggle in Nepal?  We constantly talk about Nepal, we always compare food and life style we had in Nepal so why not just go back?

Questions that keep me sometimes awake at night....

1) Is it worth it to start all over again?  I have invested so much time money efforts and years here....

2) What if I am not totally happy in Nepal? 

3) What will i do if i cant do sth or get a job of my liking.

4) Will my family be happy too?  What if they are not? Nepals a mess can get nothing done, there is bribery everywhere, corruption in the grass roots, I do not want to go back to Nepal looking and hearing about the 1 % of  priviliged ppl there.......