Summer5,

I hear your frustration. It sounds like what you are looking for is acceptance. You want to be accepted in a certain identity.

I have experienced the same. My upbringing was complicated like your upbringing. And it brought about a host of problems and issues. And unfortunately, there isn't a lot of support for guys like you and I. We have to weave togethor our own identity from the experiences that we have gone through. It is very challenging. But I am always happy to meet guys like you because we speak a certain language that many other Nepalis don't speak. Maybe the children of many of the Nepalis who have gone abroad will speak this language, but the parents have a hard time relating to the sentiments that we express.

Actually there is a term that describes guys like you and I. It is called - A third culture kid

"someone who, as a child, has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a third culture."^[

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_culture_kid

Here is an article of a girl who expresses a lot of frustration and anger from going through the experiences that she has gone through as a Third Culture Kid:

http://www.worldweave.com/procon.htm#anchor5249130

I want to understand more of what you're talking about. Tell me more.