Posted by: commando July 6, 2010
still cant get over her
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I feel like sharing my story with a hope that it might help you get over things.

I had a break-up with someone during the middle of last semester. It had lasted for only a few months, but I was already into her and I was heart-broken when it all ended. I was depressed for a few weeks but I tried to remain strong. Good thing for me - I had friends around. But, I couldn't really talk to them openly - because I felt that would make me weak in front of them and I wanted to project myself as a strong person. Those days were like hell - but I spend time reading about how to get over break-ups. They helped a bit I think. But then, there was always this feeling that made me worse off - Can I get someone as good as her again? What about all the emotional investment I had made in her? She was probably the right person for me, and maybe I would come nowhere close to finding a good match for a long time.

Then at the end of semester I started dating someone else. I had become stronger and did not give myself in emotionally for some time because of my past experience. But from the time we met, we spent almost every moment together for more than a month. It was the most intense and sweetest experience I've ever had. This new girl was better than the pervious one in almost every way. And, we both like each other more than what had been the case in my previous relationship. 

When I think of it now, I am so glad that things ended with the previous girl. Things might not be the same with you for it seems that you have had a more serious relationship than mine, so it might be harder for you to get over her. But, maybe it ended because probably you weren't the right matches for each other, and you might meet someone who is better and right for you at some point. When that happens you will completely get over her and also be glad that things ended. 

From my experience, break-ups usually bring into memories only the intensest peaks in relationships. Maybe you're going through that phase. I went to this mindfulness conference for a few days after my break-up - it kinda helped when I was gathering myself together. Maybe meditation can help you. Since you have a job, you're making money - so invest in things that help you get over those feelings. Also try to think of what is the most that you're missing about her - is it the qualities that you saw in her, are they the emotions, is it just sex or as you've mentioned is it more about feeling lonely? It might help you to think this way and figure out what exactly you miss and then try tackling them.

I hope for the best for you. One last advise - don't get drunk. You might have more of a tendency to do this because you're alone and you recently broke up. But, drinking is depressant. I recall how after every time after the break-up I got drunk, I felt really [Disallowed String for - bad word]ed up and miserable. 
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