I really don't think anyone — at least not any woman — intends to
end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens.
You fall in love with him/her in town, then he/she moves out of
town. Or you meet him at a military installation, and suddenly one of
you gets shipped out.
It is an understandably difficult commitment to honor if you and
your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are
apart. Difficult but not impossible.
parties are willing and determined to make it work. Keep in mind that
the length of time you had to get to know the person before you were separated will have a lot to do with how successful your long-distance romance will be.
- Love Across the Miles
I must admit that I have had one such relationships for 6 years till we finally decided to get married. We went to Nepal and got married. Trust me it was an inter cast marriage and his family was against our relationship until they gave up. I have found that
there are keys to keeping the romance alive, if both parties are
willing and determined to make it work. Keep in mind that the length of
time you had to get to know the person before you were separated will have a lot to do with how successful your long-distance romance will be.
-
One of the first things you should do with your long-distance
sweetheart is to agree on what the relationship will be going forward:
Are you going to be just friends? Intimately connected when it's
convenient? Or does this have the makings of a real and solid love
affair? Determining limits is of the utmost importance, because as
things get difficult, it will help ground the two of you if you know
the boundaries of your relationship. It will also help avoid heartache
later because you will both know where you stand. - Be Honest
This is very important, and I don't just mean disclosing the
superficial things (like where he was when you called and he didn't
answer). You must be willing to discuss more sensitive issues, too,
like your sex life. If this relationship is to really hold its ground,
talking openly and honestly about your sexual needs is one of the
biggest keys to success. Generally speaking, communicating openly with
your partner about your sex life will allow you to find out if the
other person is truly committed to you physically as well as
personally. It is not an easy subject to broach, but it can be very
revealing in terms of how much the two of you are willing to disclose
for the sake of your love. (The only exception I would make to this
regards the military: When you or your love is overseas, or fighting in
a war, this kind of honesty may be way too much to handle and would be
best left to discuss at a more opportune time. Encouragement would be
the order of the day until you or he returns home.) - Exercise Patience
Boy, is this one tough! I personally am not a patient woman, and one of
the pitfalls for me in long-distance relationships has been the
waiting. I recommend that you find things to do here at home to occupy
your time. If your career or your children do not keep you busy enough,
get involved in some volunteer work or maybe go back to school. The key
is to avoid weighing down your long-distance conversations with whining
or unrealistic demands, solely because you are bored or missing the
other person. - Give Encouragement
or family — and then proceed to encourage him in those areas where he
is especially talented. Encouragement, assistance and praise work well over
email, too. It's also a good idea to "smile over the phone" as much as
possible. A good mood from you on days when your partner may be feeling
especially needy can make both of you feel better.
If you follow this advice, you will be on the road to making your
long-distance relationship last. Even better, it may end someday with
the two of you finally in the same place, having learned so much more
about each other simply because you had to put in a bit more effort.
PS: He gave me a Divorce Papers after one and a half years of our marriage. Believe me or not he decided to give me those papers on my Birthday!! Things changed after our marriage. To him his friends were so important than me. He would even invite friends along with us on our Honey Moon. I didnot imagined my life that way. He started staying at his friends house for 4 days and came home for 3 days. I was so depressed and sad. I was better off single before I got married to him.. My life changed drastically but is remained the same. I guess he felt like I was keeping him away from his friends so I let him go to his friends for good. I couldn't take it anymore. Later I found love letters in his emails. We dont live together anymore since last December.