Out of sheer frustration I have concluded that I could not return back home no matter how much I love my mama. This is the best I can do is to shout out loud 'Mama I am not coming home.' Let the people back home know that people like me who has gone out of Nepal are not ready to return and disappear in the quick sand of Nepali situation. Neither we can contribute anything at this moment other than dollars, nor can we be involved in this corrupt environment. I had kept reminding myself that no matter what you do outside you have to return, your motherland is your destination.