c'mon man, are u serious ? Dont be a chicken, damn, u would be asking your dad for pocket money, How old are you,  i guess above 19, fock, you can make ur own decision now, Nobody is gonna take your experience from u, now man or girl, U are strugling to live but your are learning new ways of life every second, u made your family proud, and u will keep that, now you can tell your grandfather and your granddaugther, hey i went thru bla bla bla, and they will be also proud of you, MOST important part,I bet you gonna love and like what u get from experience in future..