Posted by: oh marone January 8, 2010
Login in to Rate this Post:
0 
? 
?
OP,
First, you have to accept that there's no escaping hurt if you break up with this girl. You will go through a range of emotions from relief, to anger to jealousy to insecurity to pathetic that you will consider begging her to take you back, that you made a mistake even if you dumped her.
Having said that it seems that you have no choice. Have an open discussion with her, as she seems to be open to that. Tell her what your expectations are and ask her why she is unhappy in the relationship. She is likely getting bored, if you can fix that and bring some excitement into your love life this may help. But do not bend over backwards.
Tell her where the line is and if she crosses it again be prepared to turn your back on her and move on no matter how painful it is. It will take you a while to heal but this is how it goes for every one who goes through the process.
Any relationship can get a bit boring and appear as if it is in a rut. Also your girl is exploring herself and with you there to fall back on everytime, she has nothing to lose. If she wants to explore herself and experiment, let her do it, but not at the cost of her walking all over you and cutting off your balls.
This is also a shit test on some level, since you are a nice guy and not backing up your threat she is testing you all the time. If you do not show balls and act on it, she will leave you anyways and your self esteem will be shattered. even bigger of a mess.
Sometime you have to accept that people's feelings change or that they need time and space to figure this out. Once you lay out where the lines are she is free to choose whether she can stay within those bounds. also understand that if she is partying all the time, all these new guys are chasing her. you being her paternal/husband type of figure cannot compete with that. You gotta turn the situation on its head, be firm, be clear and act. Unless she sees that you can change and inject some excitement in this life AND that you are capable of backing up your word, she's going to walk out or continue to use you as a doormat!
First, you have to accept that there's no escaping hurt if you break up with this girl. You will go through a range of emotions from relief, to anger to jealousy to insecurity to pathetic that you will consider begging her to take you back, that you made a mistake even if you dumped her.
Having said that it seems that you have no choice. Have an open discussion with her, as she seems to be open to that. Tell her what your expectations are and ask her why she is unhappy in the relationship. She is likely getting bored, if you can fix that and bring some excitement into your love life this may help. But do not bend over backwards.
Tell her where the line is and if she crosses it again be prepared to turn your back on her and move on no matter how painful it is. It will take you a while to heal but this is how it goes for every one who goes through the process.
Any relationship can get a bit boring and appear as if it is in a rut. Also your girl is exploring herself and with you there to fall back on everytime, she has nothing to lose. If she wants to explore herself and experiment, let her do it, but not at the cost of her walking all over you and cutting off your balls.
This is also a shit test on some level, since you are a nice guy and not backing up your threat she is testing you all the time. If you do not show balls and act on it, she will leave you anyways and your self esteem will be shattered. even bigger of a mess.
Sometime you have to accept that people's feelings change or that they need time and space to figure this out. Once you lay out where the lines are she is free to choose whether she can stay within those bounds. also understand that if she is partying all the time, all these new guys are chasing her. you being her paternal/husband type of figure cannot compete with that. You gotta turn the situation on its head, be firm, be clear and act. Unless she sees that you can change and inject some excitement in this life AND that you are capable of backing up your word, she's going to walk out or continue to use you as a doormat!