I hear a lot about depression, but I cared less about it. However, lately it feels like I have some symptoms of depression. I feel depression should be more common with people like us who come to US from third world country, struggle and end up empty-handed. When on TV I see a man or a woman showing symptoms of depression and ..........."depression hurts... Cymbolta can help", I LOL because I think they are Americans, they have every  opportunity and every wealth, they should be happy. Again I think "Sunaako thailo haata ko mailo k garnu dhana le saag ra sisnu khayeko besha anandi mann le" meaning they have more confusions than we do. With me it's basically lack of interest. My to-do list piles up for (I don't know) some weird reasons. For example, I have to apply at some grad school but I have not done it yet because it requires recommendation letters from professors and they want my resume to write one. Had I have those kind resume and experiences, I would not be joining grad school (again they are white folks they think differently). But I have not participated in any faternity organizations or school events and made straight A's. It so happened that while in community college I barely made a GPA to get admitted in the university where I wanted to go. I got scared (of not being able to maintain gpa for scholarship) so I quit my GS job and started only studying. Sure enough the plan collapse and my loan was mounting. After graduating I could not go to dhoti consultancy, because I had to continue to work to pay bills so I missed that chance too. I am an IT student but none of the home works I did myself, my friends helped me and I thought it was a piece of cake. Now even I have a 4 yr degree at IT I know barely anything about computers. Some of my close friends say I lack courage to try to do things. So what is it? Is it my laziness? My depression? or ? How could I get over it and get a life that every nepali dreams when landing on  to this land of opportunity???