Posted by: Oranje October 30, 2009
I deserve better
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THIS IS JUST MY STORY. I FEEL FOR EVERYBODY THAT IS MADE TO SUFFER LIKE I DID.


I dont where and how to start. It
feels like my heart is going to burst. Wish i had never loved anyone so much.
How can someone that meant world to you just leave you hurt. I am going crazy.
Its f***ing killing me. I am losing my sleep my hunger and everything. Wish she
knew what she meant to me. Anyway this bitch just left me in the middle of no
where in the middle of a ocean and i have very few chances of reaching the
shore. What the f*** am i supposed to do. You know what i am strong. I will
reach the shore hoping some stranger will come and resuce me. Not a single drop
of tears droped from my eyes when she said she was not in love with me anymore
and she has found someone else who loves her more than i did and even makes her
feel more special. Still i feel like there is a sea is infront of me. Dont know
it is from my tears or water. Hell no it aint my tears. Well maybe those are
tears from my heart that i never saw coming. I am optically disillusioned
,brainly washed, emotionally killed. Wish i could have used her as she did to
me. I am not a toilet paper use it and flush it, may be i am. Didnt she just
flushed me. I just might be a toilet paper made with human feelings. Man i
could never do that to her. Maybe i should have done that to her before she did
it to me. What the hell am i thinking, how can i even imagine that i should
have done that. It doesnt make any sense. I loved her,.. I know she loved me
too. How can someone change their heart so fast. It not like she is a
prostitute i paid money for few hugs and kisses and sex and banged her for
15-20 minutes and ask her to tell me how much she loved me and what i meant to
her. And after finishing it all, the world is same, she doesnt recognize me and
i dont either. I loved this girl more than anything else. Maybe not that what
she told me. She told me not to call her and keep bugging her. Why would i do
something that she doesnot like. I would never do that to her. I just checked
in to see how she was doing and how is her new life clicking. She says me she
was never in love with me. Looks like she has developed a forgetting habbit
along with her new found love. I was not the first one to say how much i loved
her. She was the one. She did. That bloody bitch did. I was not the one who
bunked all my classes for my lover, she did. I was not the first one to be
upset if she didnt found a time to meet me. She was the one. I always wondered
what was that she liked in me. I am not super handsome, i was a average guy who
was never in love before. She made be feel so special. She used to tell me how
i used to come in her dream everyday.Was that all bullshit or was that for
real. She even told me how she went to a temple asked with god to make us happy
and together for thousand more life to come. I beleive in her so much that i
was falling for her. I thought she was the reason i never was in love with
another girl. I feel like a f***ing joke now. I aint giving up that easy,
because i know i deserve better than that bitch. Its not like that there is no
other girl who would like to share her love with me.          



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