Posted by: purus January 16, 2009
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18+ only. May not be suitable for minors.
This is a story about one man's journey into the one of the physiological needs as described by Maslow - Sex.
I came to know about this strip club when I was in college. There was
an article in the college newspaper that described about the strippers
who were actually the students of our college. I was fascinated. I
still remember walking half an hour alone on that Halloween night to
get into the club. But it was just a 'conservative' club in Arkansas
that allowed no touching. And soon it was the graduation time and I had
to move out of my little spooky college town. Then I moved on to places
either I don't remember or wish I didn't before finally landing in NYC
in Spring 2004.
I grew up in a mediocre school in Kathmandu. Any social form of
interaction with the girls would be considered a taboo and would be a
cause for ridicule. This sexual segregation in my upbringing resulted
in a personality that's hesitant and apprehensive in terms of
relationship with women. Sometimes I wonder if I could blame the
Nepalese women who had been so resistant (at least the ones I've
approached). I've tested the pick-a-chick-at-the-bar theory many times
without any success. Believe me, our accent definitely hurts and turns
off the chicks. I've tried my luck in countless parties supposedly
organized to "loosen up" without any score.
NYC was vibrant. After a month long "boot camp" in my job, I ended up
in an upscale strip club where an exotic dancer promised that anything
would happen in a VIP for four benjamins.
Well not exactly as I later experienced that day but I discovered that
it was a turning point. To cut the story short, it was a roller coaster
ride from there. I continued moving to different cities from Seattle to
Miami and from Maine to San Diego. Everywhere I went, emptiness
followed and so did the unendurable amount of pressure toperform better and
survive at the work. I frequented clubs to ease off the stress -
habituating myself into the great American tradition of 'instant
gratification'. Who would bother the excruciating process of impressing
a girl - let alone commitments with her. Some places were utterly
disappointing like Kentucky while a few places were rocking like
Florida. I was affluent during those times and spent generously. I
googled to fool the legalities while anonymous posters online offered
the best suggestions that there could be to play it safe. Sites like craigslist
introduced me to the thriving world of escort services while the others
taught me the etiquette of seeing an escort and the lingo to be used
while making such rendezvous. A couple of rip-offs and a robbery did
not deter me as the rewards of the gamble were worth taking - from blowjobs to threesomes.
Times changed. I had to control myself cutting down on the spending
spree. I resorted to porn which has already desensitized me. I had to
ask myself - Am I addicted to porn or at least possess a compulsive
behavior? Don't give me get-a-girlfriend or get-married suggestions or
pursue-a-hobby arguments as I've heard them zillions of times. I
believe I've compelling reasons to explain why these are not possible
options in my life. Before you tell me that this is not the answer,
that it's a bullshit solution to the problem that could be fixed in
some way, try to understand, that this is about what I'm deep down,
year in and year out, how many cities I relocate to or makeovers I
attempt. Think of a person stranded in an island and imagine having to
live alone - where your yearning for intimacy is not reciprocated. I
know these are kind of left-field questions and I don't feel I can ask
anyone. I caused a rift with my few contact-worthy friends - well,
that's a whole different story!
This is a story about one man's journey into the one of the physiological needs as described by Maslow - Sex.
I came to know about this strip club when I was in college. There was
an article in the college newspaper that described about the strippers
who were actually the students of our college. I was fascinated. I
still remember walking half an hour alone on that Halloween night to
get into the club. But it was just a 'conservative' club in Arkansas
that allowed no touching. And soon it was the graduation time and I had
to move out of my little spooky college town. Then I moved on to places
either I don't remember or wish I didn't before finally landing in NYC
in Spring 2004.
I grew up in a mediocre school in Kathmandu. Any social form of
interaction with the girls would be considered a taboo and would be a
cause for ridicule. This sexual segregation in my upbringing resulted
in a personality that's hesitant and apprehensive in terms of
relationship with women. Sometimes I wonder if I could blame the
Nepalese women who had been so resistant (at least the ones I've
approached). I've tested the pick-a-chick-at-the-bar theory many times
without any success. Believe me, our accent definitely hurts and turns
off the chicks. I've tried my luck in countless parties supposedly
organized to "loosen up" without any score.
NYC was vibrant. After a month long "boot camp" in my job, I ended up
in an upscale strip club where an exotic dancer promised that anything
would happen in a VIP for four benjamins.
Well not exactly as I later experienced that day but I discovered that
it was a turning point. To cut the story short, it was a roller coaster
ride from there. I continued moving to different cities from Seattle to
Miami and from Maine to San Diego. Everywhere I went, emptiness
followed and so did the unendurable amount of pressure to
survive at the work. I frequented clubs to ease off the stress -
habituating myself into the great American tradition of 'instant
gratification'. Who would bother the excruciating process of impressing
a girl - let alone commitments with her. Some places were utterly
disappointing like Kentucky while a few places were rocking like
Florida. I was affluent during those times and spent generously. I
googled to fool the legalities while anonymous posters online offered
the best suggestions that there could be to play it safe. Sites like craigslist
introduced me to the thriving world of escort services while the others
taught me the etiquette of seeing an escort and the lingo to be used
while making such rendezvous. A couple of rip-offs and a robbery did
not deter me as the rewards of the gamble were worth taking - from blowjobs to threesomes.
Times changed. I had to control myself cutting down on the spending
spree. I resorted to porn which has already desensitized me. I had to
ask myself - Am I addicted to porn or at least possess a compulsive
behavior? Don't give me get-a-girlfriend or get-married suggestions or
pursue-a-hobby arguments as I've heard them zillions of times. I
believe I've compelling reasons to explain why these are not possible
options in my life. Before you tell me that this is not the answer,
that it's a bullshit solution to the problem that could be fixed in
some way, try to understand, that this is about what I'm deep down,
year in and year out, how many cities I relocate to or makeovers I
attempt. Think of a person stranded in an island and imagine having to
live alone - where your yearning for intimacy is not reciprocated. I
know these are kind of left-field questions and I don't feel I can ask
anyone. I caused a rift with my few contact-worthy friends - well,
that's a whole different story!