Brother welcome to my WORLD !!!!!. Be proud of urself. After going through all this, still you managed to come a long way. Remeber one thing - "NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO". Everyone makes mistakes and learn from it. There is nothing to loose in life. I know there is nothing such like "complete brainwash". One thing will certainly help - keep urself busy - go workout, join fitness center, go to lakes and do some adventures in the park, play games and sports, watch movies, do shopping, and look around you for all the beautiful things and persons you can see.