Posted by: SITARA November 11, 2008
Love Letters From The Past--SITARA
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I have the post-election fatigue. That's right! Nights of watching FOX news (Jeez, who watches that sh**! you ask). Believe it or not, I do--fascinated by the illusive concept of "FAIR AND BALANCED!" And not to mention Bill O' Reilly, a self-proclaimed independent, dangerously dangling towards the right. I wanted Obama to win if not for any other reason than to see the peroxide blond, cookie-cut anchors like Laura Ingram, Megan Kelly froth at their mouths in apoplectic disbelieve. And the Palin woman's self-righteous rhetoric that exposed her to be a small town-remote state-small time-beauty queen who thought she could bat her eyelashes and wing her way through national politics! May she never rise her queen-beehive hairdo around DC area. The drones who endorsed her are also losing grounds in the Senate. And what's with Arnold's comment on Obama's muscle mass--being governor has certainly increased his fatcontent in his brain. Come to think of it, Republican Governors, all seem to be suffering from diminishing marginal brain utility.

Seriously, I am a Liberal with conservative fiscal tendencies (this line, I stole from a moderate conservative)--Just get out of the war and we'll have economical surplus!

There! Having unleashed my controversial side with an evil glee--I've been Biden my time, he he!--I wanted to say a resounding HI to all!

OK, here is something I came across which brightened my day then and even now: A chain of love letters started by John Galt--Many( including me) jumped in to respond. I can't find the link so I'm posting those that I had saved in my computer.

Here goes for old time's sake:
~*~

Posted on 03-31-05 6:10 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
John Galt:

 

Let's get into reality folks,

We have strongly agreed or disagreed usofa's idea of proposing women and writing love letters. I, however believe that an honestly written letter could be a letter of proposal.
Here it goes:

Dearest miss abc,

Ever since I saw you I cannot get you out of my mind. You are simply beautiful, I mean every part of your body oozes prettiness. I like the way you dress and your mannerisms, they are simply out of the world. It would be a little too early to tell you that I love you very much, but yes...I like you...I want to be with you all the time...do you know what I mean?

Your neck is so pretty I just want to go ahead and kiss it, never seen anything like that. I like your breasts too...they are just perfect, I wonder when I could see them. I like the way you laugh and the way you talk...even your ever obscure handwriting seems dear to me.

I had liked you wearing a tank top and I would like you wearing a sari, because you fit in everything. Soon I would love you...but not before making love...keep that in mind. We would make love along with Kenny G playing his saxophone...I guess I can have an orgasm just by thinking about you.

I want to take you to finest eateries in town and buy you things, cos I want to...and moreover it is also a way to tell you how well off I am. I would flirt a little with your friends, but that would be momentary, cos I know I would have to come back to you eventually.

We would have numerous fights in our relationship, not to mention some tears too...but then these are the factors which would make our relationship stronger. I can understand after few years that I would not be interested in you sexually but then there would be some other things to focus on. Such as the way you caress my hair, the way you look at me, making me a cup of coffee, feeding me in bed, taking care of me when I am down etc etc. That is then my dearest, I would fall in love with you.

Guys please comment,

 

 

Posted on 03-31-05 8:05 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
Dear Lover wannabe:

I knew it... you were obsessed by me and now compelled into writing this wishful letter. However, despite knowing that you've been fantasizing about me, I am flattered! Well, to tell you the truth, it's kinda annoying to have this twitching on my ears and continuous hiccups accompanying me 24/7, eversince your letter. you see, I am sensitive and you are transparent, which de-mystifies my concept of infatuation.
Mind you, I appreciate your wanton lust... in print. Text has always created this boundary of security for me which I would not otherwise get.

Yes, they say I have a neck of a swan but at the end of the neck is a beak that does not hesitate to bite. Yes, my dear, my pecker's on my face... quick to rise at any hint of uncouthness from you. Not that I am saying you are, just a warning. Yes, my dear, I laugh with abandon and my smile is quick, but with each slanted smile, I will bewitch you.

My tank top is designed to keep off groping hands and my sari hides a lethal kick. So, before you make love to Kenny G's music, be aware... you may not survive the the cross hair of my seductive outfit. Next, they might be reciting "Home they brought the warrior dead". I am picky about my standard bearers.

Honey, eateries don't turn me on; cooking does. I'd slow roast you like thanksgiving turkey and smother you in wine. Then I'd giftwrap you and donate you to salvation army. I'm sure the soldiers would have a feast. I'd even ask George Bush to hand deliver you to
Iraq.

Fights, I mind; banters I don't. you won't need to focus on me sexually, one look with my karke naja will reduce you to steaming noodles while your heart with sing with joy. It would be pretty embarrasing for you to board the elevator with your heart hollaring "~lop, lop me do, you know I lops U, oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, lops me doooooooooo~~~"

So my dear loper, this is a friendly cautionary note to curtail your obsessive compulsive habits and find a spot under the local peepal tree and meditate upon the architecture of your navel.

Your sincere

 welwisher! Sitara

****************************

 

Posted on 03-31-05 9:17 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
ear Love Reciprocator Wannabe,

It's good to know that I have compelled you to express your deepest feelings. First, it's writing a letter, next a karke nazar, then who knows? One thing will surely lead to another, and just thinking about the endless possibilities makes my head spin.

I am also delighted to lean that the hiccupping is mutual. I now fully believe Aristotle when he said that love is a single soul occupying two bodies. I have never drunk so much water to quell the intense hiccups, but every drop was worthwhile because it reminded me of you.

Yes my dear, I have been fantasizing about your well proportioned and ideally situated beaker, and I would welcome its rise, especially if it is in my general direction. Ditto for your bewitching smile.

You entered my thoughts like as a guest, but have now become the host of the house. Ever since you entered my mind like an adroit secret agent enters a foreign land on assignment, I have not made love to anyone or anything, including Kenny G's music. In fact, comparing Kenny G's music to your beauty is like comparing a crow to the fairness of the Himalayan snow.

Honey, I would relish your slow roasted turkey and wash it down with wine, as if it were ambrosia handed down from the Gods. Finally, after the dinner, if you would like to ship me off to
Iraq, I would smilingly oblige. But if you would instead grant me a karke nazar and turn on the melody of my heart, I would be happy too.

Please do not tell me to suppress my feelings for you, for it would be like asking a nightingale not to sing, or for asking a peacock not to dance in the rain. Unfortunately, there are no peepal trees around where I live. I hope the leafless Maple tree skeleton outside my window is acceptable. When I do sit on the freezing ground, I would rather meditate on your multidimensional karke nazar than on my three dimensional navel.

Good night and happy april 1st.

 

Zalim Singh
**********************

 

Posted on 04-01-05 9:35 AM     Reply | Notify Admin
Dear Goodnight and Happy April 1st:

Loved your genteel reply. Yes, certainly, the possiblities are endless but your life is too short to explore all of them. Indeed, a pity! As for the head spinning, is it accompanied by nausea ? hmmm could it be vertigo, perhaps?

Yes, my dear the hiccups were so unbearable that I had to watch Ring 1 and Ring 2. And a recent flashing of Ring 3 scared the daylights out of me and cured my hiccups, tics, twitches an' all. Don't drink any more water, I beg of you... leave some for the fish!

My bewitching smile carries a burden of broken hearts; pray do not push do not push me further into purgatory. I couldn't bear for Fr. Andrew Wa to save my buring soul. The garden of Eden holds no attraction for me.

Oh No! I had no intentions of inhabiting your house nor your heart. I am a free spirit haunting the tricky threads of Sajha. Perhaps, you can exorcise me with Fr. Andrew's cross and bible?! If not, I could wack some sense back into your dizzy head.... with a peacock's feather of course.

Oh, you have not made love to Kenny G's music in so long? Aha! that explains your thirst and enumerous gulps of water. Perhaps, a cold shower will cure IT? How about bottled glacier water from
Alaska? ;)

Gentle sire, how brave, how courageous, how foolish! Why would you want to die for unrequitted love? Yes, I'd rather have you fighting for me than dying for me! :)

Sire, are you aware you ask for the lethal? one look from my karke nazar will doom you to eternal confusion. If you are not already befuddled. Gentle Sire, allow the dust of my memories to settle before you embark upon another infatuation.

Yours sincerely,

Flattered.

 

Sitara

P.S. curious about the direction your head spins; clockwise or anticlockwise?

 

Posted on 04-01-05 11:59 AM     Reply | Notify Admin
oh ooh, my turn to chime in.

Dear Flattered,

Speaking of rings, you won't be able to stop watching and admiring the one I give you. Just make sure you don't trip while walking - keep your eyes on the road, not on your finger. Oh well, just to make sure you don't fall down, I'll throw in a nice toe ring too. Wear sandals, summer's here.

Please allow me to have a rendezvous with you. Name the time and place and I will come with the rings I've promised you. Wary of your karke nazar, I have invested in a very hi-tech Rayban. The salesperson has assured me that it is fully capable of blocking all kinds of glares and stares. I hope it works on you.

I'm still searching for a bottle large enough to trap your free spirit. Have patience and I shall rein you in.

sincerely,
hypothetically in love

 

Republican

 

 

Posted on 04-01-05 12:03 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
Dear Flattered,

Thank you for your concern about the head spinning. please don't worry about me, for i am learning to manage the discomfort. however, your questions have me concerned whether you befell a similar predicament. i pray, let this not be so. Indeed, life is too short to be spent hiccupping.

you worry about impending purgatory. Fair lady, what thoughts were you entertaining when you failed to observe the cardinal commandment "Thou Shalt Not Steal?" No, forget Fr. Andrew Wa. even the ailing pope may not be able to save me now. Instead, I will follow the trail of broken hearts to your doorstep, where you and a peacock's feather can finally do me proper justice. Alternatively, I can forever play hide and seek in this labyrinth of Sajha, which you call your virtual home. FYI, forever is a really long time.

Yes my dear, this love has made me brave, courageous, and foolish all at once. Brave and courageous to pursue you, and perhaps foolish to continue on. Fair lady, it is not possible to be any more confused, for I am already engulfed in this amorous chaos of befuddlement. dust settling, you say? the dust would not settle even if I were to submerge myself in the icy waters of
Alaska. But here's a thought. Perhaps I should move to Alaska and build an igloo shaped like your heart, and mediate on that karke nazar. Just me and my grief-stricken thoughts.

Yours truly,

Lovelorn

 

Zalim Singh

PS: the head spin can be clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on whether you are looking from above or below, front or back.

 


***************************8

Posted on 04-01-05 9:48 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
Dear Hypothetically in love Republican:

Alas, I forcast doom in a joint ring venture. Sire, you ride an elephant and I a mere donkey. Sir, you offer me glitters but all that glitters is not gold. To reassure you, I've just had a pedicure and a manicure but my frail fingers can't bear the weight of multifaceted rocks. Yes, it's summer and I wear thonged sandals that show off my tanned toe cleavage/s! I don't wear toe rings sire, they give ugly tan lines. Plus nothing gives me more pleasure than digging my bare naked toes(devoid of any metal) into the therapeutic sand as I walk barefoot on the beach. The only rock that attract me is the Rock of Gibraltar from which I would gaze into the
Mediterranean as I pen down a haiku or two. Yes, I can surely, be as moody as the capricious weather which forms there.

For our rendezvous place, I'll meet you atop the stairway to heaven @ zero hour. And if you do acend the stairs wearing your Rayban, do have a rock climbing safety device attached to your behind. I fear the Rayban may be of blackbody radiation, thus rendering you comepletely blind.

The last time I checked, George Bush is using the elusive bottle to capture WMD in
Iraq! My patience reigns supreme, sire. Nevertheless, I am charmed!

Your's sincerely
(Re)publicly Democrat

 

Sitara

:)

 


 

Posted on 04-03-05 9:24 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
Dearest,

As I look upon the brightness of the twinkling stars, through the darkest of the night and throught the shining blue moon, your love shines brighter than anything I have imagined. It is you with whom I wish to look upon forever and years to come.

Although, this letter of love doesn't convey the message I wish to deliver, it is far beyond the horizons of falling stars that I want to say, you are loved by someone who is an emotional human being, sensitive to even the silliest of hapennings, and one who is very shy to tell u straight in face, that he loves you.

But, I am bold enough to take you through the life of struggles, love to give you excitement, full of romance, the moments the pleasure and desires, and a pinch of solidarity as you wish.

I am a self-confident man, one who accompanies a lot of thoughts, someone who doesn't like complexity, just take it as it goes, and one who would like to gain a lot of pride when you are in his arms, thats everything summed up of what I want.

These two days life span, one wonders and shakens, before it passes right before us. Everything can be fulfilled in this short life, but sometimes nothing does to somebody. It haunts when your desires are full of something that you want to have, rather than what you can get. I can therefore promise you, that I will be with you as we work our way to the path of our destiny, but I cannot promise you that I will give you everything you want. That is not withing my grasp.

But please donot be dissapointed. Atleast I can try to give you what you want, I just don't want to see you being sad when I cannot fulfill the promise.

Therefore, my dearest, you will read the lines today, and you might like it or you might forget that it is just another letter some crazy man wrote it for you as many already have. Give thougts to this, and think that sometimes something really whistles away right before your eyes, before you wish to have it, it maybe too late.

I wish to have you, and I look forward to hearing your reply.

At the woods,
Bob/Robert Frost

 

Posted on 04-04-05 2:37 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
ear beloved, Bobby:

Stand not at my doorsteps,
for you may not find me waiting;
I shall meet you half way,
and save you more than a mile;
hold not my heart,
into your own keeping;
For you may find it burdensome,
to match the rhythms within the smile.

Wear not my emotions,
for they be far too complex;
hold not the snow in your hands,
for they may seep through your fingers;
catch not my spirit,
for the elusive cannot be contained.

But I will walk with you,
to the land of the midnight sun;
in the plays of light and shadow,
through the diverging wooded path,
though harsh, unrelenting it may be;
But I cannot promise you my future,
For it does not belong to me!
It belongs to the house of death.

Yours sincererly,
Dearest
Sitara

:)

 

 

Posted on 10-26-04 7:12 AM     Reply | Notify Admin
Dear

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in Trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of Magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.

My love, if you do not meet meat parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,

Mathematician

Pokhreli Kancha

 

 


Posted on 10-26-04 3:20 PM     Reply | Notify Admin
My Beloved Mathematician:

The gravity in your infinite love sucks me into a fathomless black hole. I fear that I will be reduced to strips of noodles by your density and nuclear pressures. In addition, I had never predicted that your attraction to me is solely due to my divine proportions (PHI). Our meeting at a point may at best be parrallel... which I'm afraid is never! Althoug, you seem well-rounded like a sphere, I find you more like an equilateral triangle, with three sharp angles which don't fit my more complicated obtuse-angled scalene nature. I am not acute!

While your sun sets at an angle of 160 degrees, mine is exactly at high noon. Our geographical coordinates don't match neither do our stars. My astrologer stated that our (your and mine) planets allign in one straight line which could have a dominoes effect on the gravitational pull. So, please allow me to resume my lunch in the West, while you watch the Sundial in the East.

Your friend till infinity.

Your

Mathematically Challenged.

 

S

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