WOW Krishhh you’ve had some tough reflection on Life Huh? Feel sorry for you dude. But Im a strong believer of CHOICE and facing its consequences without complain but as a product of the choices I make. Like you many Nepalese face a similar Dilemma and a HUGE culture shock and the reality of American life abroad. I did too, just a teenager when I arrived here...... I had a huge Ego crash and lost my will to stay here but like everyone else I dealt with it and started to accept my situation and made choices that dictated my lifestyle here. In a Nepali party I saw Nepali lawyers, doctors, businessmen and a lot of happy people, and I said to my self, "what is that they have that I don’t have" and why cant I one day be like them, SO I CHOSE to change. As a student I made a CHOICE to work anywhere and any job that would pay my school fees and rent. I made that CHOICE because I told my self Its going to be temporary get through jobs. Its was tough as nails, and work was of all sorts you can imagine in a restaurant. Studied and worked without a day off for a couple of years avoiding bars, clubs, hookers, drugs, and bad company, although there were moments where I almost slipped stray, but controlled, Im only human but CHOICES I made to say no and stay focused to get out of the restaurant hell was my goal. Soon got my work permit I got my break, worked in a better place less hours more money, life felt good. Still lonely and young I was blessed with the love of my life and my wife of 8 years now. With her beside me a wave of new confidence to become successful and happy seemed the BEST CHOICE I promised myself. After that we both worked very hard two to three jobs. NOW me and my wife are both self employed and though still struggling through hardships of life..BUT......We Love our life and achievement together......WE CHOSE TO NEVER GIVE UP........and life goes on.....SKY IS THE LIMIT.......and For me 12 yrs later I reflect my CHOICES and compare your(Krishhh's) situation, Bro we went through similar trenches of despair, hard work and the illusion of America. Depression, anxiety, Ego crash, loneliness, home sickness and many similar feelings I am pretty sure all our Nepali brothers and sisters at one time in life go through. The only difference I see is you made CHOICES many which I think were very wrong CHOICES which made you hate to yourself and AMERICA. and I made CHOICES which makes me proud of myself to survive those trenches and learnt to love America as a COUNTRY OF OPPORTUNITIES and CHOICES. Bro time is just a number and things are never too late to change its just a matter of CHOICE and follow through with conviction and I believe if you start over, you will look at your self and feel that all those past was just a nightmare. Bro Im nobody I connected with your hard ship you had to go through in life so did I, we just made different Choices and I strongly believe That its never too late to start over and make the correct CHOICES from now on. FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR FAMILY. CHOOSE TO CHANGE. look around.........thousands of Nepalese have already made that CHOICE. you are in the land of opportunities, take full advantage. Good luck.