Breaking: IOC officials have cleared China's girl's gymnastics team of any wrongdoing, ruling that it is perfectly legal for China to field a team entirely made up of eight-week-olds, eight-month-olds, and eight-year-olds because, if the world has learned anything from these Beijing games, it is that eight is a very auspicious and important number in Chinese culture.  They added, however, that Most Evilest Olympian Evah Michael Phelps winning eight gold medals is a hollow USA victory and merely two zeroes linked together.