"And i can't come back to the universe that i belongs here."

you are here at this damn stage because of you damn mistake. if you go to the past and amend it then you will not be in this stage. There are different universes, like materialistic universe, psychological/thought universe etc etc. euta na euta universe ko current stage ma farkana sakinna, if things u did were not done in that way.

बुझे बुझि खा, नबुझे