So we are soon going to be called a Federal Democratic Socialist Republic of Nepal (FDSRN). Our new comrade rulers shouldn’t be too worried by this, it doesn’t mean we really have to be democratic. After all, DPRK is also supposedly “democratic”. We won’t really have to be socialist, either, just Stalinist.

The only thing that has not yet been changed in this theatrical transformation of our great nation is the country’s name. Politically incorrect in this day and age that Nepal is the name bequeathed to us by a feudal medieval monarch.

So what to call us? The Ass’ informal poll at a focus group discussion at the neighbourhood watering hole the other evening came up with several replacement names. The most popular was Democratic Republic of Yarsagumba (DRY) after the caterpillar fungus that is worth its weight in gold and has overtaken vegetable fat as this country’s biggest item of export. A close second was Federal Republic of Yam (FRY) so named because we are supposed to be a sweet potato between two boulders. Another suggestion was to simply rename ourselves the Fiercely Democratic Federal People’s Socialist Republic of Prachanda (FDFPSRP) and get it over with.

All this, of course has to be ratified by the Constituent Assembly with a two-thirds vote, but what do we do till then? We definitely need an interim name for our country. And it’s cumbersome and wordy to call everything this New Nepal and that New Nepal. So, to simplify it, let’s just call this country Newpal.

Source: Nepali Times, current issue.