I knew that she was in Kathmandu so I tried to conatat her, I myself went to her office and tried to find her wherabouts, now she works for UN in Nepal. When I went to see her she was on filed trip and I just got her ph no, called many times but network was not working. I left message and my ph no.
 

3 days before my flight I got call from her and we decided to meet at Nanglo at Durbar Marg. She was right in time and me half an hour ealrier. I was too excited to see her. She was still same which I liked v much. We talked a lot about our school days. She was remembering all the small things. It was really pleasing. She asked me if I was here  to get married. I said its your job to find a girl for me. She answered surprisingly ‘Yedi jaat milne  bhaye ta ma nai bihe garthe ni timi sanga’, I could not believe my ears, later she says’ Oyee, k bhayo? maile ta joke po garkeo’. I asked her why she had not married yet, she also told its my job to find Mr. Right for her. She  has certainly been more open than before. She has grown tall and very slim, looking gorgeous. We talked everything from our school days to future plans and marriage thing. Many times in between she asked some ineteersting questions ‘Did u like anyone in school days’? I did say ‘Not really’ She kept on forcing ‘please bhanana koi mann parthyo ki’. But I did not say anything.

I could not understand myslef why I did not express myself, after that 7 hours she asked me I should visit her house, it was already late but I could not deny her, we hired a Taxi and went to Chakupat. She made really nice tea and we again talked and  talked. She said sorry for being out of touch for so long and promised to keep communication alive and I left her house. ‘Feri ramra ramara ketiharu dekhera malai bhulne hoina ni’ she joked again but I took very serioulsy.
 

Then my phone started ringing very often and it was her. She again invited me in her house and gave some wonderful gifts. While talking I came to know that  her parents were very strict about JAAT-BHAAT, she told she would never hurt them and would marry anyone their parents choose. Her first priority was UPADHYA BAHUN. I questioned her u even being so educated, cant u manage your parents if u meet some nice guy who is not of your cast? Then she said ‘khai ahilesamma ta bheteko chhaina, ki timi bihe garchhau ra ma sanga’ I was again RAATO PIRO…..had no answer. but at last I told ‘ la aba timi ra ma biha garau, garne ho?’ she laughed loud . In every sentnce she was praising me, my looks, my progress, my job, and many things. Somhow I could clearly sense that she liked me.

There are somethigns in life which is destined and marriage is one among them so I think she was not made for me. I still like her as before but I donot want to hurt her, first thing she wants BAHUN which I am not, and that’s her first priority (including her parents) and secondly whatever or wherever I am, I am always a same poor guy from village (in her parents eyes) they may not accept a poor guy marrying the DAUGHTER OF THE RICHEST in those area. They will be hurt.

Now I am not in Nepal and we are exchanging mails regularly, I feel so happy to read her mail. I donot know why and why my intution says we are not made for each other. Im very much confused. there is no doubt I love her more than anyting else but I am simply letting her go from my life. Its strange that Im doing nothing when MY LOVE, the girls whom I LOVE more than anythign else is right there. Do I simply let her go? or I must express my love to her……..right now? Im confused soul……and its first time I am asking solutions from unknown (internet friends) because I cant face my real friends know this situation.
 

I love you Roshani, yesterday, today, tomorrow and always

Regards
Roshani Ko Jyan