Posted by: rmxyz November 23, 2007
Grandma in Court
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Enjoy some laughs

Grandma in Court
Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
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In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; " Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.

You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, " Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair ."

******

Some Santa-Banta jokes

 

Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Banta : Dont worry, I have one more.

Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Santa : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Boss : Where were you born ?
Santa : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
Santa : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

 

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