Posted by: Kevin_ekstrom November 16, 2007
SUM_OFF's: A MISERLY IMPULSE
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Here, you have just described a single scene. It feels to me as if the scene is the center of a circle, the story being the area covered by the circle, and is spreading up covering all of its surrounding, and not just moving on towards another point. Not only to find out what's going to happen next, I desperately want to know what happened before that.

Very intense and readable. Thank you.

 
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