Deep,

Yo haaf haaf garera vanna nahune story thiyo. Ali hataar gariye chha kyara post garna laai.

Kathmandu ko population last 30 years maa 10 times badhi sakyo, tyo Dhalku ra Bishalnagar jodne baato chaahi jatraa ko tatrai. Oys_Chill pani jawanaa maa email aadaan pradaan hudaa ma pani tetai ko ho vanthyo. Kahaa gayo tyo thito? Nikkai raamro lekhtyo.  

Deep you are doing a great job keeping Sajha saaja (‘fresh’ kya) with your stories. Thank you for writing long stories. It is great to see a writer who is passionate about telling stories, telling stories.

Tyo Baangey dada pani ho ki, khaali hallaa maatra garne ho? Bajjiya laai ek English maa dialogue dinchhu ani thaha paauchha. Bishalnagar tira ko ta haina ni hagi?    

Amber,

Thank you. But Deep already beat you. I have one suggestion (only because I am older than you are):

Writing is human. Editing is divine.  

You need to edit your otherwise excellent stories.

Bhakunde_bhut,

Lau, aru ko ris malaai kina pokhyaa ni? Ma ta usually part maa lekhdina ta lekh haru. Ali hataar gariyechha. Sorry.  

Gahugoro,

Thank you so much for the constructive comments. You always make me think.

Here is my argument:

The detail in this story is the story. If you are reading it wishing a linear progression of the story, they are in the details. I have always felt that traveling is not all about reaching the destination; a lot of it is the journey to and from your destination.

Let me ask you this:

After reading the first six pages of this story, if someone asks you to characterize Sunil, Kriti, Pallu, Reeva, Raman, Prabhat, Uday or Dr. Bhatt in a paragraph, can you do it? Do you feel these people after reading this part? If you don’t, then I failed. Simple. Through details, I was not only telling you what had happened, I was also introducing you to these people so that you can write a paragraph on them.

Contrasting with a novel …

In short stories you only have the luxury of explaining how the three men were walking. You can’t describe their looks, outfits, the streets, the lights, the traffic… In a novel, the first paragraph itself would be at least three pages long.

Keep on telling me how you feel. When I write, comments like yours help me a lot. Thank you so much.

Rythm,

“Nice going.” That’s it? You have not read it, have you? Grrrrrrrrrr. Why are you not writing?  

Occult/Lootebhai,

Read and tell.

Tisa,

I understand. Ali hataar garera post gariyo ke. Sorry.