enigma, I'd never classify anyone who was born abroad and has never been to their mother-land as hailing from that country...How can anyone call these kids Tibetans when most of these kids were born in Nepal or India and so were their parents.  Most have never been to Tibet and neither have their parents.  They in my mind are not Tibetans, but the natives of Neapl or India (depending on where they and their parents grew up).  Would you call a 3rd generation Japanese-American as "Japanese" when they've no physical ties with Japan (except maybe spiritually)?  Simialr case applies to the Tibetan Diaspora too. 

However, as you pointed out, many feel that the cause for Tibet would die out with the death of the current Dalai Lama.  No wonder he is looking towards the intl community for support more than ever.  BTW, Today's Tbetan youth have been residing abroad for so long and are so immersed in the western life-style (or whichever country they're in) that they would never opt going back to Tibet although they all still consider the Dalai to be their spiritual guru,  They cannot be blamed for it as they are in my mind, not Tibetans as they've lived aborad for 50 years and most have never ever seen Tibet except in photos.  And the Tibetans you say you saw at the Nepali parties, well, I'd classify them as Nepalis as they eat the same food as I do, they speak the same language as I do and they, like me were all born in Nepal.  On a more racist tone, I've come across many Nepalis who make the mistake of calling all matwalis who hail from the Nepal side of the frontier with Tibet (sherpas, mananges, mustangey, peeps from dolpo, etc) as Tibetans.  I still can't fathom why??

And ekstrom, am waiting...Pls don't make me type what I've already done above agian and again.  Make sure you reall all my posts above thoroughly and then ask me for more answers.  G'nite to you too!!