A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you." -*-*-*-*-*-*

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A Mexican, an American, and a Pollock are all in an airplane Flying over Mexico.

The Mexican drops a pear on his country.

When the American asks why he says he loves his country.

Then they're flying over the US and the American drops an apple.

When the Pollock asks why he says because he loves his country.

Then they're flying over the Pollock's country and the Pollock drops a bomb.

When the American and the Mexican ask why he says because he hates his country.

A while later the Mexican is walking the streets and he sees a boy who is crying.

He asks why and the boy says because a pear fell out of the sky and hit him on the head.

The American is walking the streets and he sees a little girl crying.

When he asks her why she says because an apple fell out of the sky and hit her on the head.

The Pollock is walking the streets and he comes to a man that is laughing.

When he asks him why the man says, "Because I farted and the building behind me blew up!"

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three friends went to a hotel.the bill was Rs 75/-

each one contributed Rs.25/-.

the waiter took the bill to the cashier.

the cashier was happy & decided to give them a discount of Rs.5/- & said the waiter to return them Rs.5/-.

but he was confused how to distribute Rs 5 among 3 persons.

he kept Rs 2 in his pocket & gave one rupee to each one of the 3 persons.

so 1st each one contributed 25 Rs now as they are given 1 rupee back their contibution reduces to Rs 24.

they all contributed rs 24 that is 24x3=72 & 2 rupees are in the waiters pocket.

the total becomes 74 but they paid rs 75.

where is the remaining 1 rupee?.

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Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?

They are there for those who don t drink.