Santa Banta Pranks 

Santa: What is the similarity between a Bank & a Bra?
Banta: Dono ke ander Jitna MAAL Jyaada Utna Interest Jyaada.

• Santa was teaching Preeto swimming.
After 2 hrs Preeto said: Tell me, will I really drown like a leaking boat if u take out ur finger?

• Jeeto: Doc saab, mujhe thode din bachcha nahinn chahiye.
Doc: Take this condoms.
Jeeto: Ye paani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath.

• Gal's father: Beta kya karte ho?
Santa: Ji samaaj seva karta hoon. Gire huon ko uthata hoon, bichade huon ko milata hoon.

Father: Woh kaise?
Santa: Ji Bra banata hoon.

• Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

• Doctor advised Santa: Dabaa ke doodh piyo.

Santa: Doodh to khoob peeta hoon per wohh dabaney nahin deti.

• Banta: Why are condoms transparent?
Santa: So that the sperms can at least enjoy the scenery!

• Banta's advice: Don't carry umbrella during Rain....keep WHISPER on ur head kyunki yeh ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de

• Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia, Santa ne car roki to ladki boli: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.

• Banta: Was ur wife a virgin when u married?
Santa: I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.

• Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa.
Banta shouts: What's this?
Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha 'Serve hot without dressing'

• Santa: What food u feed ur new born baby?
Beautiful Young Mom: Breast milk & orange juice.
Sardar: Oye, Which side is orange juice?

• Santa: Qutub minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.

Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.

• Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi.
When asked why, Santa bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.

• Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!

• Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

• Santa: Bhai Saab ek condom dena. Meine girlfriend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa, arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai.

• Santa went to school for getting the report card of his son.
Santa: Madam kab dengi aap.
Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo.

• Banta goes to a Family Planning clinic for advice. He reads the notice at the enterance: 'For Family Planning Use Rear Entry'

He goes back home happily.

• Pappu: Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi.
Jeeto: Yeh to achchi baat hai.
Pappu: Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi 'O God...O God'

• Pappu: Dad, today they taught about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad.

• 2 Girls were masturbating with carrots. Banta says: What r u doing?

Gals: U naughty guy, will u join us?
Banta: Wait, I'll get a carrot.

• Santa: During sex both of us njoyed, then y should I pay?
Prostitute: For us it's Incoming, so its free. For men it's Outgoing, so u have to.

• Santa raping a gal in car. A cop came & said: What r u doing?
Santa: I'm raping her.
Cop: Ok, I'm next.
Santa: Fine, but I have never raped a cop before.

• Teacher gave a sentence to Santa for translation: Khushi ke maare uski chhati phool gayi.
Santa: Due to happiness his chest turned into breasts.

• Call Girl: Wanna have sex?
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein

• Pappu: Papa jab aap Honeymoon pe gaye the tab mein kahan tha?
Santa: Putar, jaate waqt tu mere paas tha aur aatey waqt mammi ke paas.

• One night Jeeto's boyfriend asked her: Darling, r u free tonight?
Jeeto shouted & said: a*****e, have I ever charged u before?

• Santa, unable to satisfy his wife, took Banta's advice.
While having sex, he asked her: Do u feel any change?
Jeeto: Yes, today u r doing it like Banta

• Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?
Banta: Pata nahin yaar, meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha behen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai

• After 3 hrs of sex Santa said to his galfriend: U r not going to see me for a while.
Gal: R u going away?

Santa: No..No... Now turn around

• Why did English teacher slap Santa?
Because Santa asked her: Y is Bra is singular when it covers 2 & Panties plural when it covers only one?

• Pappu was masturbatin
g in front of girl's hostel, lukin at his galfriend. His friend asked: What r u doin? Pappu: ****in my galfriend via Blue Tooth

• A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slap u?

Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed…

• Santa: Yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.
Banta: Achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Kal mein jab ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard ke saath baithi thi

• Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.
Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?

• The wife was crying in pain as Banta was tryin to **** her in the ass.

Banta says: Zyada rone ki zaroorat nahin, mujhe pata hai kitna dard hota hai.

• Santa: Main ghar jaate hi biwi ki panty utar dunga.
Banta: Yaar tu to bahut mood mein lag raha hai.
Santa: Nahi yaar mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai.

• Pappu: Dad what's the diff between luv, belief & relief.
Santa: Ur Mom is my luv, ur maid is my relief & I'm your Dad - well, that's my belief.

• In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.

Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.

• Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta: How the hell?
Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.

• Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby.
Santa: If it looks like u, it would be great.
Jeeto: If it looks like u, it would be a miracle.