I am glad you are struggling. At least, there is light at the end of the tunnel. No Pain..No Gain... Just hang tide. 90% of the Nepali who coem for higher education goes thru similar situation like yours. Some have even worst life than yours. Have fun. Look at the positive side. Finish college no matter what. Even those Rich kids whose parents have lot of money and did not finish college are suffering right now. 'cause you cannot apply for any kind of visa unless you have at least a BA degree. Life is a struggle. Dont look passively. Think of how you can chage life of others too once you finish your degree. Wish you all the best. At least you are in a right place, no matter what people calls America.