Does Seeking Approval From Others Make Sense? "Peoples' opinions are like the wind in that they have no consistency, so seeking their approval is like trying to make the wind stand still, it's pointless. Of course, when they have something to offer which requires their momentary approval of you to give you whatever it is, then in an immediate sense it matters, but in the longer-term sense, it's not something you can control. Instead, the only person's approval really worth fighting for is your own and it's almost always a long process acquiring it, because of all the negative input you've had as a child whether from (probably) well-meaning but misguided carers and peers or TV. One way to release yourself and shake off the effects of low self-esteem is by setting yourself goals and achieving them, another is to hypnotise yourself into a different stance in relation to yourself. To do this, you should talk to yourself constantly, out loud or under your breath, saying over and over again, 'I'm doing alright, I'm OK, I'm doing fine' until you actually start believing it's true. No one knows the score better than you do yourself and if you give yourself approval then the approval of others will naturally follow (though by then you'll no longer care, because you'll already know you're doing fine - you just said so yourself.")