Couple of things I would like to say:

First, divide your writing in paragraphs. It was hard to read your format and about 5 times, I reread or skipped a line while reading. A newbie writer cannot afford to lose a reader from reading just because of the uncomfortable format for reading, can he?

Secondly, father dying of over anesthesia, although not impossible, is not convincing for the plot. You have weakened the plot, if not marred it completely. First it happened quickly and dramatically and secondly for a weak reason.

Otherwise, it's a good job for a first attempt.

Hope you will welcome my constructive criticisms.