Only About Him

“Sonu, get ready dear, we have a lot to do”. My father and I were busy that day preparing for the birthday party of my little sister. My dad and I were very close to each other. If I were to choose a guy for myself it would be someone with his traits. Probably that would be the last event at home before leaving to India that vacation.
We had a lot of fun that August and dad was always full of life. As a kid when I grew up knowing him, to this day, whenever I am in problem, the first person I think about is him. I believe he has solutions to all my problems. From those days of piggybacking, making him my horse, stepping on his feet to walk in his steps, I was so much dependent on him. After Sonali came to our life my mother's attention got divided between us but daddy loved me the same.
“Sonu you must be having guys coming after you.” I used to blush when he said that, I was mere 15 or 16 years of age during those days. Thinking about some cute guys gave me butterflies in my stomach but I had no courage to look at their eyes. “You are my first love daddy,” I said to myself. I could never hide anything from him and in most of the cases I didn't wish to hide.
“Daddy please don't smoke, please it is not good for you. How many times do I have to say smoking causes cancer?” his answer would be “Don't you worry my dear I promise I will not die of cancer.” And I knew he would not die of cancer as I watch him smoke. I used to get more pleasure watching him smoke than the pleasure he got from smoking . My girls friends were trying cigarette one day, with a wish to look as cool as him I took a puff and caught a series of severe coughing. That day I felt it is only him who could look cool smoking.
“Di you know what my presents are ? “ Sonali asked me. No dear, I replied. “I have my favorite Barbie, teddy and ......” she was going on with her long list of gifts. At my school my closest friends knew how my dad looked, all the names he called me with, what he liked and almost everything about him. My subconscious mind always included him in my talks. He sat beside me sometimes and talked about my studies and future. He was always proud of me. He never put those things in words but whenever I saw his eyes it was there.
“When did u say you will be coming again from India?” He asked me - nostalgia got better of me. “I have to leave in 2 days and will be back after four months when my exams are over,” I replied. “That means I am not going to be with you for whole four months? “ he said pensively. “ You will have to let her go with a guy someday be prepared for that” my mom said with a humor. I felt a chill that went through my body. “I will always live with my daddy,” I said angrily, my father winked at my mother and she just smiled.
I was all set to leave for Deradhun, those long rides in the train made me feel sick. People ogling as if they have never seen a fair girl use to make me feel paranoid. I remember those lessons my mom gave me seeing all the changes that my body was going through. Dad was never worried about me he felt I will never wrong him. He teased me saying, at some point if I met a guy and fell for him, to tell him instead of mummy and he would take care of everything. I said to myself again “ I have never seen a guy who is comparable to you to fall in love daddy”.
We were gang of 5 kids traveling from Nepal to Deradhun together. Two guys and three girls. All my family was there to bid me farewell. Sonali was clinging to my leg and asking me to stay so she could show me her toys. Dad had watery eyes and as always tried to laugh it away, mom was busy with her list of dos and don'ts. Half of my journey was thoughts about my family and the other half was apprehension about my studies and travel. I thought after ICSE I would stay and study in Nepal itself.
It had been a month since I left home I was busy with my studies and extra curricular activities. Those days letters were very popular , I got at least a letter from my home every month. They smelt cigarettes which reminded of my father's hand. One day I got a call from home. The peon of the school gave me a white slip which contain the information about the caller and the next time I had to be in the phone booth to receive that call. I wondered, I had called home just three days back and why was mom calling me.
I waited in the boot with fear. The phone rang. “ Sonu “ I heard mom at the other end. “Your dad has a appendicitis problem and I am calling to inform you that he is going to have operation.....” In the mean time my dad grabbed the phone from mum and asked how his little darling was doing. I said “ you are going to have an operation and I will not be there to take care of you”. “It is all right dear,” he said “ I will be fit and fine in two days and above all the operation itself is a minor one.” I grunted my dissatisfaction and he assured me it would be alright.
The next two days I hardly thought about home as I had exams and a dance to practice. Time just flew. It was Wednesday I suppose Ranjana came to me and said that I had a visitor. A thousand things went into my head. Jitendra uncle was there to see me, he already had a talk with Maya Madam (hostel warden) and asked me that we had to go home right away. He was not his usual self and was trying to fake a smile a lot. He told me he will explain in the plane and I better hurry. On the way to airport I asked him again, he said daddy was not felling better and wanted me to be there. I don't remember anything except thinking about daddy the whole trip. After we landed instead of going to the hospital he took me to home. Then I began to add up things, I couldn't put my thoughts in to words and the ground beneath me was sinking. The first thing I remember was seeing my mom's swollen face. I burst into tears not knowing what to expect. I ran to her praying god not to make the thing what I was thinking. She held me and cried with incomprehensible words. Slowly words came from everywhere. “He was so cheerful when he went in, I had never imagined he will not come back, the doctors killed him Sonu , they killed him, they over anesthetized him.” I don't remember what happened next. I was in a bed surrounded by people once I regained my consciousness.