> > Lesson Number One > > ************************* > > > > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. > > A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I > > also sit > > like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow > > answered: "Sure, why not." > > So,the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and > > rested. > > All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the > > rabbit and ate > > it. > > > > Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, > > you must > > be sitting very, very high up. > > > > Lesson Number Two > > ************************* > > > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to > > be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the > > turkey, > > "but I haven't got the energy." > > "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my > > droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with > > nutrients." > > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that > > it actually gave him enough strength to reach the > > first branch > > of the tree. > > The next day, after eating some more dung, he > > reached the > > second branch. Finally, after a fortnight, there he > > was proudly > > perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly > > spotted > > by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. > > > > Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the > > top, but it won't keep you there. > > > > Lesson Number Three > > ************************** > > > > When the body was first made, all the parts wanted > > to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss > > because I > > control the whole body's responses and functions." > > The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the > > brain about and get him to where he wants to go." > > The hands > > said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the > > work and earn all the money. > > And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs > > and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All > > the parts > > laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. > > So the asshole went > > on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. > > Within a short time the > > eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet > > twitched, the heart and > > lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. > > Eventually they all decided that > > the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was > > passed. All the other > > parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and > > passed out the shit! > > > > Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a > > Boss, any asshole will do. > > > > Lesson Number Four > > ************************* > > > > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It > > was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground > > in a large > > field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and > > dropped some dung > > on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of > > cow dung, it began to > > realize > > how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him > > out! He > > lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing > > for joy. A passing cat > > heard the bird singing and came to investigate. > > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird > > under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out > > and ate > > him! > > > > Management Lesson: > > (1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your > > enemy. > > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your > > friend. > > (3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth > > shut!