it does i can imagine. its much harder than to feel. but there is nothing you can do about it but to live with it, suck it up and live with it. you dont have to blame everything on yourself. at least you were honest and finally realised what she did for you. i am not blaming her either. its the way of life and it suck, you cant make her heart change by beating your heads on the wall or mouring all the time. just think that it was not you but she walked out of your life, and if you were true to your love perhaps she wasnt the lucky girl. or it means you deserve better than her. thank yourself that you arent married with children ..that adds much more complications on top of broken hearts. cheer up ... dont feel sorry for yourself ..and let her go .. slowly .. it is possible .. but hard.