A NIGHT TO REMEMBER She is gone, gone forever, left me heart broken. I always made fun of those people who cry at losing someone, I thought they were just stupid, why should they cry over someone who left them? But today, I know, people might be making fun of me. Why this guy is just overacting? What the hellll he is barking here in Sajha and so on and on, Ok guys, Im ready to face whatever u say or blame coz its not my day at all. Im rejected one, neglected and the most importantly, HATED and UNWANTED. For those who think I an attention seeker here in sajha, u r right guys, I seek attention when I start thread, I feel happy if more people reply my thread, Don’t you feel so? Why only in Sajha, I seek attention everywhere, while walking on the street, in workplace, at university, in nightclubs, in disco where not….everywhere, after all I am an ordinary guy, like you. Wednesday night was a night to remember, a night to forget, The night that taught me Im NOBODY. Middle of night we were there staring each other. “Oh you got new carpet” she broke the silence, I asked her for a hug. Never hold her that tightly in last 2 years. was in a fear of losing her. I played our special track by Frank Sinatra, exactly like in song, we were strangers even after two long years. I asked if the song reminds her something, in fact, that was the song that she played when we spent first night two years back in her place. Gosh, its been long two years. I acted very normal, did not try to be emotional. Man, it was not easy. We talked common things, weather, this and that. I tried to read her mind, she was very different today, little pale, little worried. Silent night…..silent room….difficult environment and the song “strangers at night…exchanging glances……..” I did not try to dig anything, just let the things go as it happen. Finally I dared to ask “Eventually, u r leaving me?” she just did not answer anything, “Well its hard but….. u know the reason…, I hope u read the mail” That was more than enough. We did not talk much, I did not try to stop her neither could I, just I expressed how much I love and will be missing her. “Do u think I wont miss u?” she whimpered again. I apologized for everything I did to her, for not understanding her feelings, for being asssshole, for being so selfish, and being so merciless quite often. But to my surprise she did not assume I treated her badly except for few occasions. I was so happy to hear that though I knew that was a sweet lie. It was already 3.00 Am, we tried to sleep but all in vain. After a while I came to kitchen opened fridge, found nothing, I only remember now its been 3 days Ive not been to a shop. She was sleeping with swollen eyes, I just stared her without a blink, this girl who was stranger couple of years back could bring tears from my eyes. Why is it so? Ive never understood why people cry but today Im aksing same question to myself. Soon she felt asleep, I gazed her innocent face who once upon a time loved me more than herself. How fool I was not to realize that but its too late today. I wanted grab her and cry loud, I yearned to hold her so tight that she could go nowhere, I just did not want to lose her…….but…..destiny has something else to do. She is not mine anymore…. I could not sleep, I feared putting on light to wake her up. I opened SAJHA and thought of posting what was going on but no, that would be too crazy and I did not want to be a joker again. I did not know when I slept last night but I found myself next to her, it was already 11.00 when we woke up. I thanked her for being so faithful, kind and loving, I confessed again that she was the most loving girl I had met so far and nobody had poured me so much of unconditional love. I respected her decision and wish to get better and more understanding guy than me who loves her more and more. I said that very easily but deep inside, I was dying. I asked her if we could take few pictures for the final. (Im postin here) After few hours I dropped her to school, for the first time I accompanied her, during our 40 minutes bus journey, could talk nothing. Finally, I gave her tearful/farewell kiss in her school gate. Last question she asked “Are you sure, u don’t want to be my friend?” I had no answer though I was thinking it for long. She said last sentence “I don’t want to lose you completely” “Good luck for your life and once again sorry for all the troubles I gave you but I love u more than ever before” I walked away….and still thinking if its good idea to be her friend…. ---------LIFE GOES ON------------- People come people go, but I hope gradually time will heal everything. Yesterday night I analysed many things. In my life there are other impt things to be accomplished than her. Ive to study, fulfill my parents dream, I have to be someone. Then why should I feel like ending a life when a person walks a way from my life? I think it’s a natural, I left my parents, friends back home, I left all my family members so when I compare with all this its nothing. People lose their dearest one but the SHOW MUST GO ON….Im trying to console myself, I know its hard. I remember when I left India after 2 years study. The most impt thing I missed was my tiny, dirty room and the narrow streets I walked to my school. I missed those days but now, When I compare that incident with now, I think its natural what Im undergoing after all I was so attached to her and 2 years was a long time. I think whatever happens happens for good. One day we have to be apart so I think earlier the better. I hope gradually evething wd be alright… Finally, I have to admit that we were not made for each other, there is someone better for her though I don’t know about myself………LIFE GOES ON………!!!!! Thank you dear frens of Sajha for being so kind.