Lakhee and Lovenepalalways, your views are good. However, if you read carefully, I was just referring to the tension between the parents and the children. That smoothes out the process in the society. I look at this thread and I see "me ....me..... mapai" everywhere. {Parents gav birth to us, they fed us, took care of us all their life, they fed us without feeding themselves first, they bore all kinds of bittersweet comments and insults and protected us- without them we wouldn't be yapping here in sajha. It's easy to come to the US or sit at a computer in Nepal and rant all these things.} {And then, once we grow up, for a freakin girl or a guy we forget all that? We forget the ONLY wish they ever had for us????.} HOWEVER, THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS. If you were brought up in the US and never seen any Nepali people then you have every right to marry regardless of caste, culture or nationality. That is because you were never exposed to those elements and it's your parents' fault. However, for those of you brough up in Nepali culture seen our parents' troubles please don't fight against your parents' only wish. You make a choice when you fall in love. Love is blind, but not without brains! THINK. Attraction to some other caste is merely amorous to a large extent. You don;t love the person, you don;t what he/she does....you just like the outer skin. Just because intercaste marriage has to be made a norm doesn't mean you force yourself onto it! I used to think like that but I've realized my mistake. Besdies, marriage between same castes preserves our cultural identities. A bahun marrying a newar, how many festivals will you observe? Bel bihe, dashain, tihaar, mha puja, blah blah blah...soon, you won't be observing either caste's rituals and festivals. Think. It's easy to be humane and NOT CARE about caste. But it takes a much bigger sacrifice to think about not just you but also others around you care for a smooth operation of society and I am personally proud of the fact that I'll contribute to it. It is not necessary that you care about the whole country or society etc...but it is necessary that you ease out the tension in your own lineage, your own family. I REPEAT, YOU MAKE A CHOICE WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE. TO LOVE OR NOT TO LOVE. To those confoosed, read my post before this, it's on the first page. And thanks nails. I've read a lot of your posts, they make a lot of sense!