Statement of an fifteen year old

victim

What follows here, is a truthful description, of the malicious actions from Sai Baba, being done on a 15 year old boy. You can read the letter in its original handwriting, but you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open these files, download is possible from:

1. Page 1
2. Page 2
3. Page 3
4. Page 4

Interviews with Sai Baba

Monday September 20, 1999

Interview # 1

After he called me, I went on the verandah, and motioned to mom. She came, & we sat down. After a while, I realized that Papa had not followed me. I got up and went back to look on the men's side. I examined the crowd, Baba even passed right in front of me as I searched. I didn't see Papa. I quickly went back to the verandah & sat down.

Swami came.

"Where is your father?"- I couldn't find him. "GO!" (I went to look again. I stayed there as long as I could hoping Papa would see me when I realized that people were soon going into the interview room, I came back. Inside, a lady asked: ) Please, Baba, can I have a chair?

(Baba went into the private, inner room) "Come here, boy." (I went inside and while gently pressing and rubbing on my groin with the back of his hand, he said: "Here is the chair. Take one chair." (In the outer room, he sat down.)

"Where is your father?" I looked all over for him. (he glared at me.)  "Lazy. Lazy boy!" "And Mother?" - there. (to mom, asked: ) "How is this boy? He is not studying well. Eating, (with hand motion) goes round, round, round." (He got up, & gave me a long, fierce look.)

"Don't do like this!" (He took the Italian group into the private room. When finished with them, he said to mom:  ) "come on." (I started getting up.) "not you." (After less than a minute, they came out.)
"Come on this boy." (Inside, he took me into the corner.) "Look here, you are a good boy. But, (pointing with his thumb to the other room) sometimes, with her."

"Sometimes you are not having good thoughts, good ideas. You don't study well. Not good memory. I will give you good memory."(He started to wave his hand in circles, and suddenly, - stopped. With apprehension I thought he had changed his mind. I was relieved when he continued waving. When he turned his hand up, there was nothing in his palm. Then I saw his fingers shimmering. He was slippery rubbing them together. ) "Oil," he said. "Open." (He started lifting my shirt; I lifted it up, thinking he wanted to rub it on my navel. Then, with his left hand, [his right was full of oil.] he motioned downwards with his fingers. I understood. I untied my pants. He lifted my penis, put his fingers at the base of it, and started rubbing the oil into me. It didn't hurt, but he was making a motion as if he was pinching me there repeatedly with his fingers.

He stopped, and waved his hand again. I guess he made some more oil. He resumed rubbing. With his other hand, he drew me close. He rubbed some more, and drew me closer. I could hear him murmuring some things, so I turned my ear towards him so I could catch what he was saying. He again pulled me tighter towards him this time by the waist, until my crotch was right by the side of his leg, and our chests were almost touching. I had my chin on his right shoulder both arms around him, his hair touching the side of my face, the front of my pants down.

It was so bizarre. I could now feel him pulling the base of my penis back and forth. It felt kind of good. He finally let me go, and I pulled my pants up.) (He looked at me and said: ) "Don't tell anyone. Don't tell Mother. She worries. Tomorrow and the next day, I will give interview. I will give, (he traced his
finger on my chest,) a chain."

Thursday September 23, 1999

Interview # 2

After asking me whether both of my parents were present, he took my letter and told me to GO. I waved to Papa and walked to the verandah. Mom had seen me get up. She met me on the porch. Papa came and sat next to me. When Baba arrived, he shook his hand at mom telling her to go away. She was slow to leave.

During the interview, while talking to Papa, he said about Mom: "She is a good lady; a good devotee."

He turned to me and asked: "What do you want?" - A chain. "A chain? Or Swami?" - Swami! "Yes, (he pointed to his palm) what is here?" Your hand, Swami. "NO, what is here?" (I took my guess)  - the universe? "Is there nothing? Or everything?" Everything! "Good boy!"(he waved his hand, a metal watch came tumbling out.)

"See? Everything! What is the time?" (he looked at the clock) "Three-ten." (He set the watch, then pointed to my times watch "this, no good! Plastic watch! Take it off." (he replaced it with his, on my left wrist. It was way too big.) "Oh, small hand! Take off two links." (He took Papa into the private room for a minute or so, then called me. Papa left. As soon as we got inside, he pulled me close, gave me a big hug, and started untying my pants. He dropped them to the ground, then pulled my underwear below my butt. He grabbed my penis, and while hugging me again, started masturbating the base of it. He kept repeating "Purification. Purification." I felt his other fingers grip around my crack and pull me closer, uptight. I held him tight in return. He turned his right cheek to me, I kissed it, with his prompting. He turned his mouth towards me, I gave him my cheek. He turned my head and kissed me on the mouth for a long time. When h stopped, I started to pull up my pants. He made sure my shirt didn't get stuck in the knot, and straightened me out. He kept telling me: )

"This is good chance; good chance; look, there are so many people outside. They all want to be here. It's your good luck." "Sometimes you are wasting money. Sometimes mother doesn't give. There's no income." (He waved his hand and out popped six 500 rupee bills. He counted them [Rs. 3000]) "For food. Spend it. keep it inside. Inside! (I put it in my wallet.) Don't tell anyone!" even Mother? "Mother you can tell." And father? "not father." "I will give you good life, good future I will keep you well, (he counted on his fingers) physically, mentally, financially. If you ever need money, .. Or dollars, come to me." thank you, Swami! "Don't thank me. I am everything. See? (he pointed to his palm)
everything is here!" "I am Shivashakthi." What? "Shivashakthi. I am Shakthi."

(He took my hand and pressed it to his crotch. He moved it up and down, side to side, there was absolutely nothing there.) "See? Nothing! Nothing!" (He let go of my hand and snapped his fingers, then again took my hand.) "See? Now I am Shiva!" (this time, my fingers touched a penis.)

"I will give Shivaroopa." What? "I will show shivaroopa." "take namaskar." (I went down and kissed his feet, then came up on my knees.) "take it." (He lifted his robe up to his knees. I put my hand on his knee.) "Sparshan!" (He pressed my head to his penis. I put my cheek on it.)  "Linganamaskar!" (I kissed it. He lifted his robe higher and higher. I first saw his nuts. They were very dark coloured. Then his penis. I saw a drop of liquid on the tip; he wiped it off with his thumbnail.)  "Take it!" (I held it. I kissed it. I could feel him pushing on my mouth. It opened slightly. It slipped inside. He subtly moved his hips back and forth enough times [7] that I lost count. He finally took it out, and I got up. He kissed me on the mouth. He put his tongue out. I just barely opened my lips, but kept my teeth clenched. It slipped in between my lips and my teeth. I moved and he got saliva on my right cheek. We left the private room.)

(He pointed to me steel bangle on my right arm.) "What is this?" I got it in varanasi. Why do you wear this?"- I like it. "But swami makes nice things. - in gold! You don't like swami's things?" Yes, I do! ( He waved his hand, and there was a gold bracelet, with three identical symbols on it. I started to take the bangle off. "no, don't take it off." (he put the bracelet on me while saying: ) "Protection! Protection! This is trimurthi. (he pointed to each symbol) Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva." (he again pointed to the bangle.)  "See this one? It is cheap! You can get it anywhere. Even beggars wear it!" Should I take this one off, Swami? "If you like it, you can keep it." [The bracelet he gave me is too small. It leaves painful marks in my skin and I can't wear it.] (He took the Russian group inside; as they came out one by one, he stood by the door. As a particular young man passed, Baba pressed and vibrated the back of his hand on the man's groin, just as he did to me in the last interview while I was getting the chair and twice in our interview of March 25, 1998 in Brindavan.)

(after he sat down, he asked me: ) "What are you studying?" Home school & correspondence. "Home school?" Yes, I'm learning with my father & mother. "School is better!" Which school, swami? "Any school. But if you're good, (with a slow smile,) my school!" When, Swami? "Not now, in June. "Where are you staying? The end of Samadhi road. "Outside? Why not inside?" Um, because we found a place outside. "Outside is no good. Why not inside?" Because we don't have your permission. "Do you need swami's permission?"

"I will give another interview with father and mother. Sit there, on the path,
every day."


I certify that what I have written above is a truthful and accurate description of what happened in my two interviews with Sathya Sai Baba on Sept. 20 and Sept. 23, 1999.


May 1, 2000.

1999 - WHEN I MET SAI BABA

 

Date: 08-29-05

By: Gabriel M.

Email: click here

Source: http://www.saibabaexpose.com/gabriel.htm

I was one of the participants in 1999. One of the spiritual seekers who went to India to visit Sai Baba and his ashram. In this connection, the reading of “Behind the clown’s mask”, by Conny Larsson, was a bit like a regression in time - like a journey with a time machine.

I was the one who was described as the pimply guy with Arabian origin. A funny pseudonym description, as I don’t have pimples and also have a Finnish origin (translator note: “finne” in Swedish means both pimple and a Finnish man)

Guided but misled, step by step

After having read Conny’s book, I am reminded of all those things which must have happened in the vicinity of Sai Baba, and of which millions of devotees from all parts of the world have no knowledge at all. It is true that it was the first time I visited Sai Baba, but is was quite enough to me today for understanding how easy it is to be mislead by so-called spiritual authorities, and in that process to stop questioning the facts in exchange for the belief in illusions. That’s how you choose step by step to stop listening to your own intuition and common sense.

This period of time after I had finished high school was one of spiritual seeking. I recognize quite a lot in Conny’s descriptions in his book, according to his meetings with Sai Baba. For example Conny describes his thoughts in the beginning, when he first met Sai Baba: “Oh dear, he is feminine”. I also thought things like that when I saw Sai Baba for the first time, but more like “oh dear he looks like a junkie”. I got those thoughts in the beginning, as I thought that he moved around a little jerkily, like some junkies may do, when he was floating around on the red velvet carpet with his voluminous hair.

But I banished those thoughts all the time, as I felt it was wrong to think like that, something you ought not to think about an avatar ( God incarnated in human form.)

Another thing that confused me was when Sai Baba, at our first meeting, said to me that I have silly thoughts sometimes. As I didn’t understand what he meant with that, I felt offended by his statement, which continued not to make any sense to me. It also felt strange that he declared those things to the whole Swedish group. The fact that this man declared those things to the only persons you had in your vicinity for the moment, had an isolating effect. People also expected Sai Baba to be the one who knew, who had the most profound knowledge, even about ourselves. Of course, he had, as he was an avatar, a god in human form. So we believed anyhow. How can so many people be wrong at the same time? I banished this incident with the excuse that Sai Baba must be able to understand my thoughts in a better way than I myself was able to, if he was an avatar, an omniscient god.

Paradoxically, this made me still more gullible, as I banished my own thoughts and my intuition. The individual intuition had to give place to the collective view, and the paying of respect to the person Sai Baba. For how is it possible, for so many, to be wrong, at the same time.

I remember how I sometimes used to leave the ashram and have tea with the Indian and Tibetan salesmen; with them I felt at home. Those salesmen were ordinary business men with humour, quite ordinary people, and with them I could be myself, joke and think for myself.

During my stay in the ashram, I didn’t get a lot of energy, on the contrary, I felt more uncritical, dazed and muddled; it was rather difficult to have a clear vision.

Those things I considered even then, but I banished those thoughts with further excuses.

The fact that I felt out of sorts, I excused with the thought that it could not be due to Sai Baba.

Because of that, I paid no attention to my own feeling concerning the situation, as I thought that it was some sort of process I went through. Sai Baba was supposed to influence our energy and I thought that my scarcity of energy was perhaps due to ”energy processes”. It was said that Sai Baba influenced our slumbering kundalini energy.

Kundalini is a power, which according to tantric yoga tradition, is supposed to lie latent as a sleeping worm in the spine. During certain circumstances, it is supposed to be active and rise from a place near the genitals, upwards along the spinal column to the head. If a person's energy centres are in a bad condition and filled with impurity, the kundalini raising is supposed to be very hurtful and trying. Kundalini is supposed to be the same sort of energy as the sexual creative energy, only in a more sublime form. Many yogis think that you ought not try to influence this energy, but I supposed that this happened in a natural way in the contact with an avatar.

Shared 'private' interview with Sai Baba behind the curtain of shame

In his book, Conny tells us what happened, during what I believed was his last private visit behind ”the curtain of shame”.

For me it was the first time Baba called me privately, and fortunately also the last one. When I read the book, I realized that Conny and I had interpreted the situation in a little different way, due to Sai Baba’s attempt to lead Conny astray.

In his book Conny describes, how he and I were called to come behind “the curtain of shame” by Baba.

The moment before, I had got a ring of pretended gold, produced by magic. (which I got later than is described in the book; that is I got it just a moment before Conny and I was called behind “the curtain of shame.)

I felt like a chosen one and well favoured and thankful, for having had something “materialized” for me, and now I had high expectations.

What happened inside there made me confused, and I was unprepared. When we came into the room behind the curtain, Sai Baba suddenly turned his back against me. Sai Baba was now standing between Conny and me, and obstructed the view between us. I remember now retrospectively that Conny asked something like “how about the boys”, and Baba said something like “only small-minded”. I didn’t understand what they talked about, and the whole situation was strange and incomprehensible. I moved forward to Conny and Sai Baba, as it is unnatural to stand behind someone's back. I remember in a hazy way that Sai Baba was occupied with some sort of strange movement before me and I moved instinctively around to make us stand in a circle, which I felt more natural. But Sai Baba turned his back against me again and waved to me to stay there, and suddenly he pinched my penis so I was not able to move away. Conny thought that Baba now had started to give me massage. But instead he pinched the head of my penis in a rough way. This pinch was hurtful, and kept me behind Sai Baba's back. At the same time, Sai Baba pulled his foot before Conny for him to kiss in a traditional way; a sort of blessed act.

Again I interpreted an incomprehensible act with the help of a still more confused logic. I supposed absurdly enough that what he did to me was some sort of advanced energy healing. The pinch felt like a clothes peg and I supposed that it was something about kundalini. I thought that this pinch was like a thing reminding me of the kind of peg you use when you transfer energy from one car machine to another, when you have an engine failure, to get the machine to start again. Even if the whole thing felt rather strange and surprising, I didn’t suspect then what it was about, or what would be the result.

A rather funny memory is, how surprised I was, when I watched Conny on his way out from “the curtain of shame” with a crafty smile, steeling or taking some vibuthi packets, with the so called “holy ash”, which Sai Baba was known to materialize, and which was supposed to have healing energies.

It was not until later, after having heard other peoples stories of a sexual character that I realized that it was not just about little pinches with the best of intentions, or with healing purpose.

It was the first and the last time I visited Sai Baba’s ashram. After this period I finished to be a spiritual seeker. My trust in authorities disappeared. After all, I am rather happy for what I have learned. After having talked to the arranger of the new age association who had introduced Sai Baba to me, I immediately stopped visiting the association. The arranger of this association didn’t give any response at all to those incidents and rumours about Sai Baba.

On the contrary he paid no attention to those new facts, and defended them as if all of us exaggerated. I was annoyed and surprised at such a spiritual awkwardness and immediately stopped my contacts with the association. A dangerous view, as in a fuzzy and irresponsible way, it paid no attention to all those innocent people who are exposed to Sai Baba’s manipulations and exploit, and the suffering they have to go through. I understand that Conny must have felt a frustration of the same kind with all those people who have not accepted the boy’s and his own account.

The book “Behind the Clowns Mask” has got an important message to spiritual seekers, who have gone astray and have lost something: How important it is to remain yourself and keep on listening to your intuition. I was happy when I heard about this new book, in which the truth about Sai Baba is revealed by a person who knows what he is talking about, and who also has got the courage to break free. It cannot have been easy. Well done!

Personal experiences from

Hans de Kraker

From: Australia

Source: Hans de Kraker

Subject : PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

Date: Friday, 19 May 2000

From: Hans de Kraker

Re: Sai Baba

Dear David, Faye and Glenn,

Long time no hear! Finally I have taken the time to put some of my experiences with The Great Deceiver on paper. I really appreciate what you are doing. I think it is absolutely vital what you are doing because a lot of harm is being done and this needs to stop. Not doing what you are doing defeats the purpose of all those years of travel to India. We all went there to find the truth after all.

As I had told you I travelled to India extensively for a period of 4 years. During this period (1992 - 94) I had many (35) private audiences with Sai Baba.

I got to know him in 1988 through a friend, in Italy who had passed on a book. After about four years I made my first trip to India with my girlfriend, mother and father. The years that followed were making for some very intense years in my life. Sai Baba fairly much from the first private audience had suggested to me and my girlfriend that we were to split up from eachother for our own good. He did this in a very public and embarrassing way, purposely humiliating my girlfriend and myself. We had built a lot of "faith and mystery" around him and had by now accepted him has a God incarnate on earth, the epitome of spirituality, the epitome of human divine spiritual expression.

There were many books written by people from all parts of the world that spoke about miracle after miracle. People had cured from fatal diseases by virtue of touching jewellery "materialised by Swami". He "appeared" in front of people in all different parts of the world. Millions of people travelled to India to see "God on Earth". Millions of People came and cried upon his sight, some were cured of their illnesses, some freed of their anxieties of life and some died in peace. Some left laden with trinkets or real golden rings, watches, pendants, all materialised by "Swami".

Sai Baba has been enjoying a lot of popularity in the West. He has a great ability to play with and communicate to large crowds of people. It is this particular power that allows him to manipulate people.

It takes a Great Man not to abuse this power...

During these four years of travels to India, Sai Baba would perform a certain ritual each time he would call me in for a private audience or interview. He would ask me to take down my pants. He would than "oint" my umbilical area; testicles and penis with oil which he "materialised". After this ritual he would ask me to pull up my pants and tidy them up. I had heard of this ritual and it seemed to be "common knowledge" that this was done to balance the sexual energy or Kundalini. I had never thought anything of it. When I was in Elementary School in Holland, the school doctor used to check and touch your testicles to see if you were growing properly. I likened this ritual to a visit to the doctor. It was just for a different purpose. Very unassumingly I continued to receive this treatment, convinced it was going to do me some good!

Each and every trip he would "materialise" trinkets, jewellery, "vibhuti" and oil. I noticed that he was particularly generous with the people that donated a lot of money or equipment for the various kitchens in the Ashram. I did also notice that he would call in a lot of young guys out of the crowd and never girls.

In one particular interview, I saw him take a ring from under the handkerchief that was on the armrest of his chair. I thought not much of it. I never really attached much value to the materialisations and knew that the receiver was going to be an ecstatically happy person... Shortly after, one of my friends in the group said to me: " Gosh, what a test! Swami wanted to show me that he did not materialise the ring, but that he took it from under his handkerchief! Isn't he funny! He is really testing us!" I did not give it any focus; I never had focused much on these materialisations and the thought of accepting that he was not actually materialising these objects was probably very unattractive tough for my mind. I had also received a ring, two bracelets and a necklace so I guess I had satisfied that desire!

Through the years I got more and more attention on a personal level from Sai Baba. This went accompanied with receiving VIP seating for doing work in the kitchen. As the crowds grew over the years it became increasingly difficult to see "Swami" up close. There was a preferred seating area for people who worked in the kitchen since they were not able to "do the lines". They often worked until 30 minutes before Darshan. Arriving that late they would always find themselves sitting in the back of the large crowd, so by getting this "reserved seat" they were able to every now and then have a close encounter with "the Master".These groups were organised in lines of two or three and rotate so that everybody got a fair chance.

Although initially I was very much against this way of operating, I succumbed to my desire to get a close encounter with the "Master" and accepted a preferred seat the third time it was offered to me. After two years I had become a "steady member" of a group that would travel to India three times a year, to do volunteer work in the Ashram. The group would cook food for upto 6000 people around the festivals and various multi-religious celebrations (Christmas, Shivaraatri etc) The group would bring thousands of kilo's of food at its own expense as well as a lot of industrial kitchen machinery etc. There were many other groups that brought help in some form or shape and it was beautiful to be part of this enormous "collective effort".

Our group had a place of its own. We did not have to wait in line and had always-front row seating. On some occasions (on Festivals and Celebrations) we were even allowed to sit on the veranda. We would always get to see "Swami" from up-close and feel very fortunate.

The ego was certainly satisfied with this powerful position! So many people wanted to be close to him. Millions of people travelled to get a glimpse of him and here we were right up front! It is incredible how the mind comes up with justifications when it suits our personal purpose.

During one of the last visits, there was a young guy who had travelled with us from Italy. He had not been to India before. He accompanied his girlfriend and her father, who was part of the group. Shortly after we arrived in the Ashram we got our usual immediate welcome interview in which Sai Baba was briefed on what we had brought from home as well as our personal, business and daily life problems

Sai Baba called in this particular young man again, a few days later by him self. He was given a watch! "Swami" had materialised a watch for him! He came to me fairly shortly after and was quite shocked (like most people were, all for their own different reasons). He asked me to explain him something;"Swami hugged me, and then kissed me, on the lips and tried engage me by probing my mouth with his tongue". When I heard I was very shocked. This young boy (18/19) was quite confused and asked me what I thought of it. He had thought of Kundalini and that it was to "balance his energy". I did not know. I told him that that could be the case but that I did not know.

We both talked about it for some more time. I told him about the ritual that I had been going through over the past years and this was maybe something in that line...

On one of our trips to India I remember bringing so much, we thousands of kilos of overweight. Among the things the group brought were watches. These hundreds of watches were destined to go to the students. Not long after arriving we brought some of the things we had brought to the front door of the Poornachandra, in front of Sai Baba's house. I very kind gentleman would be from who the offerings came and that Sai Baba was expecting them (especially after the attempt on his life there was a very strict security control).

Only a few weeks later, I encounter a student, who proudly tells me that his watch was materialised by Sai Baba! He was as happy as I was astounded. And again I decided to stuff the thoughts I had away, saying to myself that it was great that this boy was so happy and that the philosophy was what was important and not where this watch came from. I decided that that which was instilled in this boy through this gift was going to help him in life to be the person that he aspired to be. In that same period a friend approached an another person of our group from Europe who had received that same watch. He had asked my friend why he got that watch...

During another trip a friend came along who was ill with cancer. She wanted to give an ambulance to the hospital. She was included in the group by the leader of our group. It was suggested that buying an ambulance was to complicated. So she donated a large sum of money. The next day she got an interview on which she received a "materialised ring".

In my last trip to India (November of 96), I arrived early from Australia and my friends from Europe had not arrived yet. The usual kitchen managers were no longer running the kitchen. Upon arrival, Sai Baba asked me to reopen the Western Canteen and start making food for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. I collected a group of people, (was ordered/recommended by ashram management not to allow any Sri Lankans in the kitchen! All people I appointed were screened by the management) and started working. Several days later, my friends from Europe joined me.

We had several interviews together. It was around the 10th of December that they left, except for one of my close friends. We spent some beautiful moments together. It was almost as if we were like the apostles around Jesus. We were moved even further ahead now and we were seated in the ashram management area, very close to the front. Sai Baba came to us every and each Darshan and would have a chat with us. These were very special moments. We felt very privileged.

The day of my friend’s departure, we were called in for an interview together. Sai Baba materialised another bracelet for my friend and for me. In this same trip he had "materialised". (One of my friends was "tested' and saw him bring the object from the neighbouring room) a jar of amrith, "divine nectar" with a spoon which he used to give us all a spoon after which he said; "From now on no more bad karma and no more bad luck in your life" "You are very special people, this is a privilege! There are so many people out there and you are the lucky ones!" When I asked him why he said that all our hearts were pure and that there was not self interest involved in the work we did (we had many power struggle and quarrels over positions in the group, just like any other group of humans may have).

My friend had now left. I was by myself and was called in a few days after he had left. I went into the interview room and was given a private audience in a separate room. When in this separate room, he asked me how things were in Australia. He told me that he would give me every thing, money, a house, a wife EVERYTHING!

He then signed me to come closer and hug him.

He had earlier that trip asked me to kiss him on the cheek, while I was helping him getting something from a room adjacent to the interview room. This was a little room where he kept his gowns. It was his custom to give a gown to people for healing purposes (it was common believe that "hugging" a gown could cure a disease), or when they had opened one of his centres. He asked me to help him get something from that room. While leaning over to get something from a lower shelf in the closet, when rising he pointed at his cheek, indicating that he wanted me to kiss him. I did so, very surprised and kind of suspicious. I come from a country though where man and women irrespective of sex, kiss each other on the cheek three times. So after my first suspicion, relativised everything back to normal (I am still amazed today, how far ones mind can go!)

So back to that moment where he asked me to come closer. He then hugs me ( I am on my knees and he is seated on his chair-there are no people present). He now turns his face and puts his lips on mine; my head his spinning and my mind is running at 500 kilometres per hour. I don't know what to do! My mouth tightens up, and I feel extremely uncomfortable and confused with this "perceived incarnation of GOD on earth trying to kiss me on and in my mouth!! Sai Baba slaps me on my cheek and says "Loosen up!!! With other people not OK with Sai Baba OK " I am even more uncomfortable now and feel disgusted at the same time.

Sai Baba realised his and my predicament and decides not to continue. He now tells me again that he will give me everything and stands up and tells me to do padnamnamaskaar. As I go on my knees, and touch his feet with my forehead, he pulls up my arms and indicates he wants his calf muscles massaged. Although very uncomfortable with everything that had happened I still continued to listen to him. Many people knew how he liked having his calve muscles massaged and I had seen respectable men and women of all walks of life do the same thing....he now takes my head and pushes it quite firmly into his groin...he then pulls up my arms and asks me to go higher and higher and higher...NOW I AM HOLDING HIS BUTTOCKS AND WONDER WHAT THE HELL MY DIVINE MASTER IS ASKING ME TO DO!!! Fuse!!! Crash! I let go my arms and now I am even more shell shocked...he pulls up his dress, presents me his half-erect penis and invites me to take up my "Good Luck Chance":

"This is your Good Luck Chance"

I am now on my knees facing his erect penis, being asked to perform oral sex. He stands there, and I think:

AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?

COULD I DO THIS?

-.....-

I then instinctively stretch out my right arm and put on the part of his chest which hides his heart and say:

"I don't want this Swami, I want your heart"

He now drops his dress and tells me: "Yes yes yes of course you have my heart"

He now asks me to take my pants down, "discovers" my penis is not erect and tells me that that is how it is supposed to be!

"Swami is inside there see, Swami is inside there."

Hell NO! That is Mine and Mine! And you are certainly not in there!

I thought

 He asks me to do Padnamnamaskaar again

and again

he pulls up his dress

"This is your second Good Luck Chance" he said.

I refuse and get up without saying anything. I am now angry, confused and dazed. I feel burning! God just took a backdoor! A very clever manipulator and professional deceiver had just trashed the fundamentals of the past eight years of my life. I had abstained from any sexual activity because he had suggested it was good for my spiritual Evolution. He had harassed and embarrassed my girlfriend and myself because of our difference in age, while he was hitting on someone 42 years his junior...He had told us to break up our relationship and for what reason?! So he could have a go?!?!

In reality I pulled the carpet myself from under a mental castle which I had built myself. I am responsible for that, he is for abusing the good faith of people, their trust, to the point of putting their life on the line and actually loosing it

Devastation

Devastation

He asked me to keep this quiet, to not say anything to anyone

I walked out of the interview room and run to my room.

I lock myself in.

I black out until 6am the next morning (from 5 PM the day before)

The next morning people that apparently came to my room and knocked approached me on the door.

Someone had called Europe even and told the leader of the group. I got a call from her the morning after. She expressed concern and told me people had seen me walking out of the interview room all pale…then they tried the apartment but I had locked myself in. She asked me what had happened. "Did he try to have sex with you" I told her that it was something between him and me. I did not want to talk about it.

The first few days after I sit in darshan at a distance, not wanting to be close. I look at the masses and masses of people and wonder how he manages to handle all these people."Who are you!" I ask myself...a few weeks pass…. I get another interview with a group of Germans / Russians. My attention is elsewhere and Sai Baba monitors every move of my eyes. I see his ring trick and how he tosses the old ring between the pillow and the armrest of his seat. I look at this Older Russian lady who is crying while she sits in front of him. He is playing the crowd, and all of a sudden the GODhead has become a bad trickster. In the mean time the group has arrived from Europe and we are all working hard in the kitchen. I had thrown myself in the work to forget something, which I was trying to refuse to accept: reality.

There was a big power shake up in the kitchen and I had no interest to participate in the whole situation any longer. I had a chat with the leader of the group because I had not been going to darshan anymore. My last day in the ashram I talked to the leader of the group. Again she insists that I tell her what happened." So did he try to have sex with you?" was the question. Tired of it all I told her what had happened. This was the evening of the fourth or fifth of January. Immediately after she has an interview with Sai Baba, by herself this time, without the rest of the group. After she comes out of the interview room, several hours later, I am summoned to an elderly gentleman from Security, whom I knew well, with whom I had build a friendship.   Several years before, when I accompanied a couple from Europe, who did not speak any English, he had spent time with this couple, their three-year-old son, who had cancer and me.  This gentleman looked very awkward and asked me if he could take my photo. I said of course not knowing what was happening, understanding something had gone wrong. He was accompanied by 2 seva dal's. One them took a picture from the front and then asked me to turn to the side. When I asked my friend what was happening he nodded uncomfortable and said I don't know.

They then escorted me to the secretary of the Ashram who told me I was ordered to leave as soon as possible. I had behaved improperly and had to leave. When I asked what the reason was he commanded that I was not allowed to ask anything, and that I was only allowed to leave. "You are to leave the Ashram. You are strongly advised not to hang around the village, to go as soon as possible to Bangalore and catch the first flight out...

I left.

All my friends of the group were absolutely amazed and destroyed when they heard that I had been expelled. Except for one person...the same person who spoke to Sai Baba a few hours before.

So they got rid of a possible "loose cannon"

But what about the miracles?

But what about the prophecies that describe a man like him?

But what about the dreams I had with him? (It is common believe that when one dreams of Sai Baba, it is actually him willing it. You cannot dream of him if he does not will it. When you dream of him, it is actually him coming to you, and hence , a special grace.)

But what about the "materialisations"?

Self Interest has no boundaries. The mind finds all reasons to justify means to reach, or maintain a purpose.

But what about the three year old boy?

Now what of that three-year-old boy that Sai Baba said he would cure? What about the fact that he had said to the parents (I was their personal translator) that they should not bring their child to the hospital anymore? They should not worry anymore about the therapy, "I will take care of him and cure him".

But what about the fact that the three year old boy died 6 months later from the disease?

What about the fact that he had promised two friends (father and son) in our group a lingam to cure the disease of the mother. And he promised a second time in a second trip they made. Now the son was sick and had constant fever. How about the fact that Sai Baba still had not given them this lingam, the mother was still sick and now he promised that he would cure the son and not to take the medicine? How about the fact that they went back again some 6 months later and said to Sai Baba that he could not work without taking the pills because he could not work with 39 degrees fever. And what about the fact that Sai Baba insisted that "it is only Body Heat, don't worry, I will take care of you". "Don't take the medicine", he repeated.

But what about the fact that he died several months later?

What about the fact that when you give money you get a nice seat on the veranda, or that you can buy Sai Baba's attention by making big donations (you have to make sure though you pass all your personal details through to the right people)

But what about the fact that you are likely to get attention if you are male and good looking?

But What about the fact that he talks about abstaining from sex but has a go whenever he can?

And what about the fact that he breaks up a relationship to then hit on the male?

And what about the fact that he tells the a big group of people that the perfect age difference between two people is 3 to 4 years: quote;"Unlike the guy in kitchen with the long hair who is going out with a seventy year old women and all he does it for is the money."  But then for him, 72 years of age it is OK to ask sexual favours from a guy who is 44 years younger?

And what about this COMPULSIVE DECEPTION?

I took me 3 years.

And I don't expect any genuine devotee of Sai Baba to accept the above facts just like that. As a matter of fact many will come up with a good reason why "He is an avatar anyway. His ways are not to be scrutinised, who am I to understand."

Been there.

Nothing new.

But the facts, the truth, that for which we all travelled to India is now calling for us. The truth is crying for help.

With the other crushing and devastating findings (paedophilia etc) in this report from other unassuming devotees, I believe one owes it to ones own spirit, to accept and grow and be ready to support all those people that we considered brothers and sisters, because many of them, and especially the older ones, who have been devotees for decades, will need all the support they can get.

Good Luck

Hans de Kraker