Sumoff, I am not going to say anything about this particular piece......except maybe that the revelations in the story dont quite show the mark of the genius that you are. What i do wanna say is that, each one of us here can throw in an exotic word or two and compose a few sentences......but when u read somebody (like us) writing in third person, the people in the story are strangely impersonal. Your characters, on the other hand, feel like 'first person'. I relate to the characters would be an understatement. I Live those characters. In other words, you rock!