Few things to ponder as usual. Abstract Affection and the Opposite of Charisma paused my otherwise uninterrupted read. I had never thought of it but I have tried to justify perversion as a proof of living normal now and then. And somewhere you wrote "It’s that desire we have, to look normal, when we know we are not normal. I have championed that desire. People around me think I am absolutely normal. " Isn't it the other way around? We all are normal and try to prove abnormal or for that matter, try to be a different and unique character. "I don’t represent anything. I don’t have a personality. I don’t attract people. I am saddled with debt to my unattended desires, that, what remains of me is my love of my awkwardness." It's a surefire Introvert confirmation. They know they have lot of potential and they just die crushed by that potential. But they managed to live in fantasy and enjoy the way they are. And your big theory , I agree with it in some extent .... Opposite of Charisma is another form of charisma... As that homeless old man in downtown. He should have some stories too....